This Is All Just a Bad Dream

Have you ever NOT done something so amazing that you will never ever forgive yourself? Does that make sense? Well, hopefully it will when I tell you that I FU*KING missed Leslie and the Lys in Norfolk at a gay bar within walking distance! I went to bed at like 8pm that night like a loser when all the while she was rockin' the stage in her tight gold spandex suit and high kickin' it for some half steppin' fans who don't deserve her like I do. I read about it 2 days later and it felt like one of those nightmares where you're like running and you're not getting anywhere or you're trying to make it somewhere really important but you keep running over old ladies with walkers and you have to wait for the police to arrive, lock you up and then you have to steal the sleeping guard's keys out of his pocket with some long object that just happened to be laying around a jail cell before you can go anywhere. This whole time you are distraught with a sick feeling like you just need to be there now. This is how I felt but there's no waking up and there's no turning back the clock. I'ts been 2 days now and I've been mourning. I've actually already gone through 4 of the 5 stages of grieving. At first it was denial (I ripped up the news article I read about it and forbade anyone to talk about it in my presence and pretended the show never took place). I did the whole bargaining thing with "God" (Carlo Rossi) and I also got real pissed off (Leslie can't even shoot me a FU*CKIN evite or sumthin? Is she so big now that she's forgotten her true fans? Why would she even come to Norfolk, VA on a Wed? Damn her!). I'm in the depression stage right now and not accepting calls (booty or otherwise). So, the last stage is acceptance and I'll be working on that eventually. In the meantime, your condolences and non-perishable, monetary (Paypal accepted) gifts can be sent to ladyandfluff@gmail.com to aid in a quick mental recovery.


-Lady Chavez