Saturday, October 27, 2007

Trend and Anti-trend

Trend: T-Tops

Okay, I don't know if this is actually cool right now but it should be. This dude rides down our street with a T-Top sumthin, mullet and American flag waving and he is not kidding. Oh to be so oblivious, carefree and proud of your country. These colors don't run! Sorry, anyway ummm I want to get a T-top immediately before everyone else starts snatching them up because its coming. I feel a T-top frenzy coming on like the clap and it hurts so good! Ladies, don't sleep because these cars are no longer just for dudes and not just for you to spread your legs on the hood. You need to be behind the wheel with the air from the T-top whistling through your ta-tas. It's on.

Anti-trend: Butts

No seriously, I like butts but sometimes don't you think, "Why?". Poop comes out of there! Someone else's shit comes out of there and its stinky and they might even have skidmarks right now as he/she is walking down the street! We don't even wanna talk about hemorrhoids and dingle berries all up in the butt hairs. These are all possibilities if someone does not shower DAILY. What percentage of the population do you think showers daily? Well, I tried to look it up for you and couldn't find anything but I think its like 2% or something. And... a healthy person has 2 to 3 good shits everyday so the chick in the baby phats right there just unleashed a big daddy in the can a few minutes ago. Think about it.

-LC

8 comments:

The Humanity Critic said...

I have to agree with you on the T-Top wave about to sweep america like a janitor on Crystal Meth. When I was 17, I had a Cutlass with a T-Top - at the time I was a whining malcontent, upset that I didn't have the new car of the moment. Looking back, I'd do anything to have that car back - outside of a homosexual act or cuddling with a woman after I prematurely ejaculate. Peace.

Humanity F Critic aka "Gordon Gartrell"

lonely guy said...

yo i have a mullet wearin, t-top drivin mu'fucker on my street too....he gets pussy all day long...hmmmm....

cushion4pushin said...

i'm gonna be honest with you - I think you could have found a MUCH cuter butt for the anti-trend. Also, I don't think Sir Mix-a-lot would approve.

Lady Chavez and Fluffgirl said...

wow, thanks a lot c4p, that just happens to be my ass you're talking about!

ok not really, but that would have been messed up

- LC

Hillbilly Harlot said...

girl, mah ass is all I got. Don't hate!

El Keter said...

Let me just say, I am a staunch advocate of analingus. I will put my tongue all up in there. However, I also have massive issues regarding personal hygiene. I expect people, especially people I'm close enough with to stick my tongue in their ass, to have clean rectums. I mean, why would I stick my cock in somebody's vagina if they have a shitty asshole? I don't have a shitty asshole and it boggles my mind that anybody else could. Being an (admittedly non-traditional) Orthodox Jew I follow the personal hygiene laws proscribed by the Torah and will not "use the restroom" without actually WASHING afterwards. And I cannot understand how other people don't also wash their bodies after having "a movement." I get skeeved out whenever someone I know uses a public restroom for what I know must have been a dump because all I can think about afterwards is how their asshole can't possibly be sufficiently clean. "THEY'RE SITTING ON THE REMAINS OF THEIR OWN SHIT!" my mind screams! And I've heard stories from friends who worked in the laundry industry about people having filthy, skidmark-laden underpants. Why? In the name of Yahweh WHY?!?!?! How can anybody live that way? Ugh! That said, if a persons anal hygiene isn't up to snuff, you probably shouldn't be getting close enough to them for any kind of sex anyway, much less something involving the butt. It's called soap and water, it's not that hard to use.

Lady Chavez and Fluffgirl said...

I hear what you're saying there Keter, but my philosophy is "there ain't no asshole so clean you can eat off of it", I'm gonna leave that to you...yuckies!!!!!!!!!!

Lady Chavez and Fluffgirl said...

BTW i think there's some kind of therapy for that...