Sunday, September 16, 2007

This Living Legend is Fresh to Death

Whether he's on tour with Atmosphere or chillin' at the Bunny Ranch, Luckyiam is experienced in the game and is ready to reap his rewards. Currently, he's one of the most respected emcees in the underground rap scene and with a new, well-recieved album out, he's truly most likely to succeed.

L and F:
You have a super smooth flow that we think most emcee's struggle to accomplish. You have been in the game a while. What's changed?
Lucky: Thank you! (Black man Blushing!)
I think that I have finally reached the point to where I'm truly satisfied with my voice and I have learned how to use my vocals as a instrument that fits nicely in the pocket of the beats I choose. Where others end up fighting the track and often times kill the value of a dope beat.

L and F: We thought about running a brothel at one point and then we see you in URB talkin' about pimpin' possibilities. What's that all about?
Lucky: Haahahhaaa... well my publisist (Trevor Seamon of Score Press) told me that URB wanted to do something with me for they're DIY issue and it didn't have to be based on music...sooooo, I thought of a business I had knowlage about and turned in a list of 10 things you should know about starting/running a brothel! I hang out @ the Bunny Ranch with Dennis Hof when I have free time here & there so I have watched and learned from the best*

L and F: You're on tour a lot. What's it like being away from home and the kids. What keeps you focused?
Lucky: Yes I am gone a lot.. Now more than ever. To tell you the truth I Love being on the road and traveling in general so I rarely get homesick. I love my kids and my family but I'm a road warrior @ heart so too much downtime only makes me anxious & grumpy. I even keep my toiletries in the case at home like I'm @ a hotel or something. I dunno it's in my DNA..and focus? Shit, I'm still working on that but I party waaay less on the road now because I'm out to be the Best in this shit and giving my all after too many all-nighters just won't cut it.

L and F: Your new album is called "Most Likely to Succeed", what is success to you?
Lucky: Success can be defined in many ways. To me I'm already succeesful, I have been to Australia 6x's, Europe 7x's, Japan 9x's and etc. We have a hardcore grassroots fanbase built off of nothing but blood sweat & hustle,countless amounts of fans have expressed that I have changed their lives to some degree and I have a lot of ladies on me and after me!
All of that is success to me. The only thing that I have not experienced is fame & mass amounts of monetary gain.
Soooooooo..Dues paid, I'm ready for my rebate. The fame is optional but I have 3 little girls who I want to worry about nothing except for school.

L and F: When you have a party, how do you throw down?
Lucky: Uh Oh...well it depends on what I have to do the next day! Heehehehe..
I basiclly do whatever I want to do but I don't go too far off the deep end ie. Herione or weird designer drugs.. I do party like a 80's rockstar, but I aint a drug addict or a fiend. Find out for yourself @ Neighborhood Fest!!!

L and F: When you get super big, will you become a media whore, driving all drunk and showing your privates like some celebrities we know?
Lucky: I already do that. But if I ever get to the point where the world is watching, they won't catch me doing it*

Check Lucky out on his Myspace or his homepage and buy the CD!!!!

Dear Lady Chavez,

Dear Lady Chavez,

My boyfriend says if I don't get a boob job, he'll break up with me. What should I do?

Misquito Bites

Dear Misquito,

I will try to give you my best advice even though I have naturally huge, perfect DD's. Oh, sorry I did not mean to make you feel bad, I just throw that out there sometimes. Now, If this were some alternate universe where I was flat chested and cared what my boyfriend thought, I would first ask, "Ok, boyfriend, are you paying?". The next question I would ask is, "Do you really want me to look like a D-listed porn star who's boobs run away for my arm pits every time I lay on my back? And if that's the case, you'll need to get a pot belly and a mullet because that's what all the dudes look like in pornos." It is so true right? I digress. Anyway, Lady Chavez is way against being fake about anything so I would have to advise you against this. Chances are, he will want you to have something else done and then another thing. Soon, you are lookin' like that dude in Hannibal who got all his face skin eaten off but with huge, saggy hooters. True story.

Lady Chavez

To send your question into Lady Chavez, please email her at

Trend and Anti-trend of the Week

Trend: Long Ass Hair with Thick Bangs

First of all, can you believe I found this puzzle at a yard sale and for only 25 cents?! Second of all, can you spot a common theme here between the 3 plastic icons? The hair is ankle length with some serious bang action. We're not even gonna get into the glittery scarf because we can only handle so many fly flashbacks in one week. I have not seen this trend bless the street yet but it's coming. This is what Ken Paves has been working towards his whole career...this moment where the 80's hair train comes back in full effect and people are buyin' up weave everywhere by the yard. Well, you can trust mines will be straight natural with a little kink on the side. I have already begun the growing out process since I saw that Asian chick in my Adorn magazine rockin' it accidentally. I'm gonna get my man a halfsies shirt like that too, so watch out!

Anti-trend: The Posh Bob

This has got to end already. If Posh is such a style icon, why has she had the same hairdo for 8 months? More importantly, why is Jenna Jameson sportin' it like its brand new? The shit looks faker than the tan and the tits inside her anorexic, alien skin. It's time for a change and while I applaud her for a good follow-thru, fashion ain't bowling and that mop belongs in the gutter.


The VMA Awards

My conspiracy theory on the Britney Spears performance at the VMA’s goes something like this: ya know how everyone loves to watch American Idol during the first few weeks to see all the crazy screw ups, bad hair dos and crushed dreams? Well, what better way to boost your ratings than to put bad extension having, fingernail missing, gut-busting and belly baring Britney on stage at the biggest awards show of the year? Let’s take a second to evaluate, friends. At any given moment, the bitch is surrounded by a legion of hair dressers, wardrobe assistants, dance coaches, and stage production staff. And you’re telling me that not a single one of them noticed that her extensions were half done, she was missing a fake nail and that she looked like she had just eaten a very large steak dinner with a side of mashed potatoes and LOTS OF GRAVY?? Really. Who expects us to believe that? No, instead I think it went something like, “This is going to be the greatest screw up of her career and we want to make sure everyone in America is front and center, watching.” I mean, she fired her stylist two days prior and was seen partying very hard the two nights leading up to the show. MTV Execs must have been creaming their britches at the thought of her impending disaster, on stage and LIVE for all to see. “MTV News: You hear it first…..”

And speaking of gut-busters: how bout our two favorite white trash superheros, Tommy Lee and Kid “Pebble?” In an apparent act of jealousy re: Pam Anderson, Kid Rock sucker punches Tommy Lee in the face while Alicia Keys is performing on stage at the very same VMA show. Did I miss something? Kid Rock and Pam divorced almost a year ago because he blew up at a “Borat” viewing party, telling Pammy she was a whore and a slut for doing the movie. Not sure where that gives him the right to get in Tommy’s face….then again, Tommy did give her Hep C…..

Anyhow, that’s not as interesting as the Chris Crocker video on YouTube, where he is crying while defending the pop princess’ efforts on stage at the VMAs. This truly made me laugh. If you haven’t seen the video….

Ha. What’s more tragic? The crocodile tears or the really bad dye job? I’m not sure about you, but there has be an extremely compelling argument for why she was allowed to disgrace America’s TV sets with such a travesty (see above for theory). Screaming and (fake) crying do not count as appropriate defense. Leave the social commentary to the better-equipped, Chris (i.e. Perez Hilton). And if you ever threaten him again, I will personally shave your head while you sleep.



Crafts We Love #6

We love ESME ART!

Anything kitschy and plastic is fine by us. Especially stuff that is handmade….

In Defense of Vegetarianism

Animal testing is barbaric and a money-making scam for the government. Anytime you buy a product that's been tested on animals is a big swift kick in the nuts to any rat, ferret, monkey, beagle or kitty cat. You might as well be giving a hummer to W. Bush while sliding money orders into his XS tightie whities. Humans do really cruel things to animals all in the name of science. When the tests are done, most of the time, the "research" cannot be linked to humans in any way and they are tossed aside. There is so much literature on this that I'm not going to go into it on here but check this site out 'cause they have loads of info. Go here to learn why HLS needs to be shut down and click here to learn how to support the SHAC 7 who are in prison for fighting for the freedom of animals.

Oh and if you want some good, cruelty free lube and/or faux leather sex toys, go here...mmmm

-Lady Chavez

Readers Write In

In the spirit of our Luckiam interview, we asked readers to write in about why or why you wouldn't want to be a pimp or a madame. Here is one reader's response:

In the American media, pimping is portrayed as an ideal and glamorous job. Although it is one of the most sought after occupations, it is often stressed that yes, it is indeed hard out there for a pimp (after all, it ain't easy). But what about their often objectified female employees?
Prostituting and pimping are not at all fabulous. These women who work the street corners tend to be sexual abuse survivors, suffer from feelings of worthlessness, and come from low-income backgrounds. Pimps & madames prey on these vulnerabilities that these women have and make a profit out of them.
So next time you see a pimp flossing in his caddy, think of the little girls that survived child abuse and grew up to feel worthless. Her loss of self-esteem is his financial gain.


Anyone agree or disagree?