Sunday, September 30, 2007

Visionaries Are The Ones We've Been Waiting For

LMNO, 2Mex, Lord Zen, Dannu, KeyKool, & DJ Rhettmatic make up the Visionaries which just so happen to be blowing up on the West Coast and a city near you with their new CD Release "We are the Ones". They may not talk about sexing you up or the rims on their ride but they will make your rump shake.

L and F: In a hip hop world of dope boys and materialism, how do you guys stay so positive? How important is that?

KeyKool: My family taught me values of love and trying to be positive and appreciative through the good and bad times. That's life, and we all have our highs and our lows, but music always helped me feel better, so that's the reason why I choose to be a part of a group that feels good to be a part of, in making the music, performing, and just hanging out with.
LMNO: In our Hip Hop world we get along with the D. Boys, the B-Boys & B-Girls... I know what drives people to hustle to get money so I dont judge. As far as keeping it positive, we are Blessed to capture a positive sound on these records but please believe we all fall off the positive train now & then, the music, ALL music, helps us with the soundtrack to a better life to live.

L and F: Your group is made up of multiple ethnicities. Did it kinda happen that way or was there some sort of Spice Girl making the band thing that took place?

KeyKool: Visionaries came together naturally, we all somehow saw the good heartedness of each other, and got along well. I met LMNO through the music industry in 1989, and that was an attempt by a management company to put together a "multi-ethnic" group, so they had a vision to put together a group, ironically, years later, the Visionaries came about naturally as friends with a love for music and the hip-hop culture.
Dannu: That's Cali for you....

L and F: We've come across a lot of hip hop groups with like 6 and 7 members lately doing well. How hard is it to make money with so many?

KeyKool: In the music industry, it's hard to make money period, so splitting it with 6 members is even tougher. But we know that we are the strongest together, and that even when we weren't making money at all, the feeling is the same, this music and movement we are part, and all of our experiences in this as members of Visionaries is priceless.
LMNO: Instead of slicing up a whole pie, we slice up a slice of the pie...
I wish someone would question my LOVE for this movement, we see little to nothing as far as money goes but I remain Greatful for ALL that we receive...

L and F: Your newest cd, We Are The Ones (We've Been Waiting For), has been very well received and is the 4th album. What does that title mean and how would you describe the album?

Key Kool: The title means that it's up to us to determine our reality. Not only as we the Visionaries, but we as a people, anyone out there. There's no one but yourself that will determine the outcome of your what are you waiting for????
LMNO: The title was brought to our attention by Mike the Poet.
He read a poem titled "The Time Is Now" spoken by a Hopi Elder & when he came across the quote "We Are The Ones We've Been Waiting For" he called me up & said "MAN DO I HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU CATS!!!"
As far as what it means to me, everything you think you are waiting for can be found within

L and F: Your music is huge on the indie hip hop scene. Do you ever see yourselves going "mainstream" or signing to a major label?

Dannu: I'd love to be able to have millions of people supporting our music...why not? are we doing this for several thousand ears...or as many ears that would listen and enjoy......whatever it takes by our standards....
KeyKool: We have been releasing our music on our own for 12 years now through Up Above Records. Should we ever get accepted on a mainstream level, hopefully it's because a larger number of people have an overstanding of what our music is about. Regardless of mainstream or indie, we just hope our music is meaningful, and we will never compromise what we believe is music that we enjoy to make.

The Question We Always Ask...

L and F: When you guys get super big, will you become media whores, driving around all drunk and showing your privates like some celebrities we know?

KeyKool: Well, I believe some of us have already done those things in the No, really though, I know that we are down to earth people, and that regardless of our success and so-called stardom, we will be true to who we are; on the other hand, with a group of 6 dudes like us, you never know what might happen next, but at least it keeps it fun and interesting....
LMNO: My days of driving drunk & showing off my privates are long gone. IM grown up now so when we get super big I pray to remain humble & deserving of all the success we get.
Dannu: you'll know soon enough...........

As always, support Visionaries and independent hip hop and buy the CD...preview music here

Trend and Anti-trend of the Week


Sweater Around the Shoulders

It's about that time to start puttin' some more clothes on and nothin' says arbitrary like a light sweater huggin' your collarbone. It says, "I'm not any warmer than you right now but I could be if I wanted to". It says you're flexible and not afraid to look stuck up. People will secretly wonder if you're better than them as your cotton mudflap hangs in the breeze. Don't tie it too tight though because haters have been known to try and grab your sweater from the back and you do not want to get yoked up in public.


Stank-ass armpits.

Since moving to this large metropolis, I have become a witness of much, and a victim of even more. I understand that the body’s natural tendency to cool itself involves exuding tiny droplets of water, salts, and urea (which, by the way, is basically the same combination of components as URINE). This can’t be helped in most cases. Especially when you’ve got 9 minutes to make the N express, which arrives in 5 and you just HAD to sport your new leather stiletto knee high boots for fall even when its still 80 degrees out…but I digress. Point is, maybe you can’t help that you sweat like a fur monger at a PETA demonstration. Fine. We all sweat. I do, however, feel strongly about an individual’s ability to control the odor caused by excessive underarm sweating…..and back sweating, neck sweating, gut sweating. Whatever. Its really not that hard to put a little deodorant on in the morning. Dust yourself with some Johnson & Johnson if you have to- take a Cuban shower. Just DON’T let me make my way through the steamy subway tunnels, board the E line (which barely has A/C) and find myself nose-first in the armpit of a smelly German, Rod Stewart look-alike with crusty snake skin boots. It is important for the reader to note that the design of said subway is typical in that many people have to reach up overhead to grab the bars in order to keep from face-planting themselves in someone’s lap, which adds to the experience of this olfactory nightmare. Small, dark and ugly dudes seem to be repeat offenders of this particularly egregious hygiene crime. Not an accusation, just an observation.

And if you don't know, now you know...



Dear Lady Chavez,

Dear Lady Chavez,

Okay i've got a conundrum. I'm trying to decide which olsen twin i want to get serious with. Mary-Kate has the better fashion sense and by far the better drugs, but she won't give me anything more than a little hovercraft action, or dryhump if you will. Meanwhile ashley loves the cock.

Danny Tanner

Dear Danny,

First of all, I am going to pretend you did not just sign that Danny Tanner because you just ruined Full House for me and I'm pretty sure that is a felony in some states. Mary-Kate or Ashley...hmmmmm....well, if this was real life I would tell you to choose Door #3 even if it was a one-legged carny with full blown Hep C. However, since you are adamant it be one or the other and this is my alter ego (not the angel on your shoulder or devil on the other side, but the one in the middle and further down towards the welcome mat) I will guide you. If you choose Mary Kate, her outfits might not be atrocious but you want her naked, so this is irrelevent. As far as drugs go, if you hang with MK, she might fix you up a nice cocktail but then you'll have the disease (not the imaginary disease that Christina Ricci had in Black Snake Moan where she had to do everyone or it hurt) but the one where your white snake won't work and will only slither around in your boxers, hence the reason she's always dry humping. Ashley, is your best bet since she's ample and willing. Plus, Paris steals all her boyfriends so its like a two-for-one...wait, or is that Mary-Kate? Damn, I'm getting those elfin hoes confused...just go with Stephanie.

Lady Chavez

If you too would like some Lady Chavez advice, please email her at

Craft of The Week

Ipods make the world go 'round and these cases are a nice artsy, DIY upgrade for yours. You already sold out to the man and bought Apple's handheld current necessity so be a little more punk and get a handmade cover. Check out this link for more designs by Tiny Meat, sure to not give you lead poisoning.

Gossip Detox by Hillbilly Harlot

It's time for rehab.

Gossip rehab that is. and no, I aint talking about the
band either. It's out of control and I blame Lady Chavez.
When I first met L.C. I didn't really keep up with
gossip/ tabloids but I noticed a Life and Style near
the pot in her hotel room. I picked it up and started
reading. Wow! These peoples lives are inneresting (not
really) but I got hooked.L.C. and I would pick up a
couple mags and spend the night reading rags on each
others beds then trade mags while drinkin that Carlos

L.C. planted the seed and now it's a full blown
fuckin tree. Why do I care about Kiera Knightly
(is that how you spell that skinny ho's name?)
I DON'T! But I read about her ass(or lack thereof)
3x a week. So it's started with the mags ..moved
onto TMZ..then Perez (when he was actually funny
and not just sniffin ass to make $$) My personal
fav is Dlisted, this fag is HILARIOUS! It's
gotten to the point where I have 3-4 tabs up all
filled with gossip sites and I spend about 1-2 hours
looking at it. Filling my head with the latest
nipple flash, baby bump watch (oh yes, X-tina
..even 3 pounds of makeup wont cover up that bump).

When I have fed off the life of others, I feel
exhausted! and a little dirty. You know when you
are just laying in bed and some how your train of
thought leads you to imagining sex with your cousin,
boss or other innapropriate figure? you feel gross
afterwards, right? That's how I feel after reading
this. I could be doing other things! Like Watching
TV! (J/K L.C.)In the amount of time I spend every
night after work, I could take a walk and tone my
lumps, cook a semi-gourmet meal, attempt something
artsy-fartsy since I have not a creative bone in
my body.

It's time to DETOX. Not unlike alcohol withdrawl,
something has to take the place of the gossip
while I wean it out of my system. I want to be
totally ignorant on who Lindsay is having sex on
a toilet with during rehab.. oooh, did you know that
place is run by mormons? See,I'm at it again.

I haven't decided what to replace it with but I
need to decide and fast. Before Britneys C-section
scar blinds my eyes again. oohh, do you ever click
on the link that takes you to the nudie pics? I
dont want to but I always end up with Kate Moss's
goat nipples in my face.

This has to stop and I recommend all of you (YOU
KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) Detox as well. Focus on something
else. It doesn't have to be problematic, like DARFUR
or the war. Read a book, glue rhinestones on your keds,
exfoliate your feet cause you know they nast, dance with
your cat to T-Pain, cut your bangs and then cry about
it later..just dont feed the beast!

-Hillbilly Harlot

In Defense of Vegetarianism

I found this ridiculous article for this week analyzing vegan, vegetarian and meat-eater poops. It is a fact that active carnivores have less frequent and lower quality poops than that of vegetarians and especially vegans. There are exceptions of course, like if you eat Ex-Lax all day like Nicole Richie or drink Icehouse every night. These folks are pretty regular regardless. This article however says that it is actually a myth that vegetarians have more floaters as opposed to sinkers. Please read this article because its very informative plus its just a segment of a site all about poop called The Poop Report and it is way more than you'd every want to know about feces.

Sinkers 4 Life!

-Lady Chavez

Writer's Block in The City

So I have total writer’s block…

I’m supposed to be writing something poignant/funny/thought-provoking for today’s blog. The truth is, I have had so much going on in my life that I have no time to ponder life’s whimsies at the current moment. I started a new job, which seems to be taking over my life already. Not in a bad way…I dunno. I guess I always act like I am trying to resist the life of a work-aholic. But I am starting to think there’s one hidden deep inside me and I just don’t know about it. There are plenty of people with 9-5 jobs out there. I am not destined to have that type of job. I want one so bad. I always feel like the daily grind gets in the way of the stuff I really want to be doing- like painting or sculpting, or learning guitar. Yet, here I am, working all these hours and setting myself up to work more and more. Maybe my only consolation is that the job itself is actually pretty cool. More on that later.

This weekend, Eric and I are in NJ watching these two dogs that belong to our friends. They just moved into a beautiful English Tudor-style house out in Madison, NJ. Its nice to be back in the ‘burbs for a brief time. Sidewalks and driveways and neighbors. Sometimes I miss all those things. I really miss living back in Norfolk – the friends I made there are the ones I will have all my life…..but for now, its back to the grind (unfortunately, Eric Nies not included).

I’m reading a great book right now. “Milk It!” by Jim DeRogatis. It’s a collection of his writings as a critic on the music scene in the 90’s. He had the pleasure of interviewing Kurt Cobain, Courtney Love, Billy Corgan, Steve Albini, Dave Grohl, and Krist Novoselic. I loved the 90’s. Smashing Pumpkins was my first concert and changed the way I listened to music forever. Kurt Cobain’s death was something that affected me and I still listen to the Foo Fighters. It’s especially interesting to read his interviews with Courtney Love, who I would describe as an extremely intelligent, loose cannon.

I want to live in Brooklyn. The difference between Jersey and NY is like night and day, of course. But I haven’t had the urge to move into the city until now. Brooklyn seems like the perfect combination of low-key fun and city lifestyle. Vintage/thrift stores and artsy salons. AND it would greatly reduce my one-hour commute to work.

So, really, that’s it for now.

Keep on keepin’ on,