Sunday, September 2, 2007

Bonde Do Role Rules the World

I don't think we could love the Brazilian baile funk group anymore than we do unless maybe they came to the Dirty South soon. Diplo plucked them out of the depths of Myspace music pages and had to have them on his label Mad Decent. From there they were signed to Indie label, Domino and have been ruling the world ever since. You must check out their music if you haven't already and check out Marina...girl makes us wanna get our licker license (nawmean?!)

L and F: You guys are in every magazine we pick up lately. It's like sudden explosion of your music. What is it like to have everything happen so fast?
BDR: It's still unbelievable! one day, we're all just lying on our couches back home watching tv, the next day, we don't see our couches anymore, just awful airplane seats and a scary agenda for almost the whole year! But it's great though!

L and F: You music makes us nostalgic for the skating rink from the 80's. You have totally nailed that feeling of being free and strutting your stuff. When you're on stage is the feeling similar?
BDR: Aww, thank you! Basically when we play live, we just try to make each other laugh and with that, we kinda make everyone else watching us laugh with us. Either is me (gorky) running around throwing plastic balls on the other 2, pedro spilling beer all over marina, it's all just a big party for us every time we're on stage!

L and F: You have been signed to Domino. Do they give you much artistic freedom?
BDR: Pratically 100% (we're not gonna say 100% because if we wanted to record our next record on space they'd say 'but you're gonna spend all your money just to get there!'). What other label lets people release a portuguese-sung album without any lyrics in english? in other words, we love them for the freedom they give us!

L and F: Looking at your tour dates, you guys are constantly on the move either doing a show or on the way to another one. What do you miss most about being home?
BDR: hmmmmm... our couches? hehehehe
nah I guess the overall 'let's do nothing/we don't need to worry about anything' feeling, having our own schedule to do things and most of all, sleeping as much as we can!

L and F: Your lyrics are carefree and silly which makes us happy. Is there any subject that is just too taboo?
BDR: not really! well... we do sing a lot of stuff about sex and all, but we wouldn't touch politics... so maybe politics is our biggest taboo?

L and F: You guys always look fly. Are you super into fashion or are you just coincidentally cutting edge?
BDR: not really fashion people here! hahahaha
but I guess each one of us has their own style in the band - marina is a boot lover, pedro with the funny t-shirs and me with sober colors and trying to look serious, but I swear I'm trying to change that! hahahaha

The Question we almost always ask:
L and F: When you guys get super big, will you become media whores, driving around all drunk and showing your privates like some celebrities we know?
BDR: no way! If we ever get super rich, we'd probably have our own driver and we'd have money to pay off the paparazzi to not show these things! hahahaha

Go to for more!

Dear Lady Chavez,

This is the first installment of "Dear Lady Chavez" which is just like Dear Abby but with a lot more sass and nothin' but the nasty ass truth. Please submit all questions for Lady Chavez to

Dear Lady Chavez,

Is it wrong to have a sugar daddy?


Need to Pay My Rent

Dear Need To Pay My Rent,

Well, I think the better question is do you wanna be right and poor or wrong and one rich, pampered whore? I'll take the latter and buy my way into heaven later. Of course every circumstance is different, but in general, I think dudes know they're getting used, especially the ones with old wrinkly balls. Why do men buy convertibles and private jets? They know if they're flashy and fast, it doesn't matter if they have little pee pees or weird fetishes because women still go for it. On top of it,your triflin'mama will probably be behind the whole operation trying to get into a good home one day. So, really its not your fault, hunny.That man led you into a trap and your parents were unfit and left you vulnerable by not teaching you to care about what's inside. Girl, you deserve that money and you can always hook up with the pool boy on the side.

P.S. Does he have a terminally ill brother?

Dang, just askin'


Lady Chavez

Trend and Anti-trend of the Week

Trend: Bubble Hems

Yes, we know….it sounds like something your grandma would sew for you and make you wear to Easter Mass. But this subtle hemline makes for the cutest, girliest, dresses! I know- I own like three of them. Pair them with pin-up pumps and a mod head band (like we featured in our Trend of the Week #2), and you’ve got instant sex appeal…..okay, well, maybe not instant (kind of like batteries not included, right?).

Anti-trend: Guys Who Wear Gucci

I’m sorry. I don’t mean to offend anyone. But we think guys who wear name brand LOGOS everywhere just reek of “men’s airport bathroom sex scandal.” Guys should broadcast their confidence and masculinity- NOT where they bought their man-purses. Oh and those tight-ass pants? Well, they broadcast a whole different picture for the ladies….and all of you guys with less going on down there might want to re-think that.

I seriously don’t have anything against fashionable males, but how come JT can make wearing a vest reek of “please worship me now” and “I want to have babies with you?”

Love, Fluff

In Defense of Vegetarianism #4

Look guys, this is no joke. If you eat meat, it restricts blood flow to ALL your organs and me and your organ cannot get down if you can't get it up. Going vegetarian is like Viagra for your willy and you can go all night long like Lionel. Your ladyfriend will be amazed by your new endurance, not to mention yo breath will smell better plus you'll lose weight and that always makes your tallywhacker look biggie sized.

Lady Chavez

Crafts We Love #4

This week’s craft is a bit different than what we’ve recently featured, but the art of creating perfume is a craft nonethless. This week, we are giving mad props to Christopher Brosius Ltd. Of CB I Hate Perfume perfumery. His advent garde philosophy on the way people should smell (and the way they shouldn’t smell) makes me want to rush to his gallery in Brooklyn and buy, like, one of every scent he makes….I mean, who doesn’t love the smell of sunblock or crayons?? He has pre-mixed potions that will make you say ooo-la-la…and he’ll even custom design a scent just for you. The custom scents are a little steep- but we think its priceless to smell like something or someone you’re not…

No, this does not mean you can forgo the daily showers….

Love, Fluff

Girl in La-La Land (Part 2)

I lived in a bubble for most of the year with regards to LA and how awesome it was. Everything was new and exciting, but most importantly, vastly different than the east coast...and different in an awesome way. First, there's the's amazingly sunny and warm 99% of the time. It never rains and it's never humid. Sunglasses are a permanent fixture on my face...but I look damn cool in them. Second, the attitude out here of people is much different than the east coast. People out here are artistic. They value their happiness and doing what they love over money and material possessions. Success is not measured by what car you drive, what house you own, or how much money you have. It's measured by happiness, by your crafts, by your creativity, by your ideas. There's always a way to make money. Many of us are content to just barely get by, living on the edge, not knowing if we'll make rent each month because we're pursuing what we really love to do and we're not going to compromise that for financial security. Life is just too short. Many of us are multi-faceted using every possible skill we have to get by. Waiting tables is a highly sought after and competitive job and we're always looking for that job that will pay our bills and give us flexibility to pursue our careers. It's a tough thing to find, but we all manage to find it. Third, socially, it's good and bad. It's good because we all do what most people other places would consider irresponsible. Staying out late in the middle of the week is commonplace. Sure, we'll be tired the next day, but it's worth it cause we're living it up and having fun. In less than an hour, you can get to the mountains or the beach. Clubs, 24 hr diners, and bar abound in Hollywood. It's bad socially because most everything is about business. If you can't help someone else with their career, they probably won't waste their time with you. Most people out here are so career-focused, that they don't have any desire to establish long-meaningful relationships. There's a lot of self-centered and fake people out here, but you can always weed them out. I had to get used to not receiving return phone calls, people flaking on me, and people just disappearing from my life with no explanation. As you may have heard, it's all hype out here, it's all networking, and it's all "what you can do for me." It's an odd place to live, because it's easy to get lonely here if you don't have family to fall back on. It's an interesting day when you realize that you don't have an emergency contact person. It's like a college town, everyone leaves for the holidays. But despite those things, you can find those gems, those people who do want stability and meaningful relationships and you hold on them. They become your support system and your family. You have orphan thanksgivings and late night coffee and you support each other. Third, everything out here is about the entertainment industry, so it's awesome to be in the middle of everything. You see through the hype and the marketing. Seeing celebrities is commonplace. Hollywood is not as glamorous as you would think, but driving down those streets past the studios, famous stores, and restaurants makes you really appreciate how awesome it really is.

And now for my favorite Hollywood moments and celebrity sitings!

Celebrity sitings:
1) Adrian Brody- leaving an awesome diner in Hollywood called Swingers
2) Will Wheaton (from Star Trek fame)- ended up talking to him in a game store in Pasadena
3) Macaulay Culkin- at Disneyland
4) Mark Indelicato (Ugly Betty's brother, Justin)- at Disneyland (same day too :)
5) Benjamin Bratt- worked as a stand-in with him on a film called Trucker
6) Michelle Monaghan(MI-3, North Country)- worked with on Trucker
7) Nathan Fillion (Serenity/Firefly fame, look out for him on Desperate Housewives next season!)- worked with on Trucker, spent time playing with his iPhone and talking to him about blue moons
6) Joey Lauren Adams (Chasing Amy, Big Daddy, etc)- worked with on Trucker as her stand-in
7) Teller (from Penn & Teller)- at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, which is a member's-only club for magicians
8) Ryan Phillipe- going to a comedy show next to our theater
10) Breckin Meyer (bunch of stuff, imdb him)- going to the comedy show with Ryan Phillipe
11) David Faustino (Bud from Married with Children)- going to take an acting workshop next to our theater
12) bunch of other people you wouldn't know...but are on TV all the time
13) I see friends on mine in commercials on TV all the time as well

Favorite Hollywood moments:
1) Driving with the windows down through Malibu Canyon and spending the day on the beach
2) Hiking up Runyon Canyon (trail in the hills above Hollywood that celebs go to a lot) and looking out over Hollywood
3) Watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest at night in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery
4) Boardwalk at Venice Beach looking at everyone selling their art and checking out all the tattoo shops
5) Disneyland
6) Riding awesome coasters at Six Flags Magic Mountain
7) Watching an original 1946 version of Gone With The Wind in technicolor on 35mm film at a friend's house
8) Late night conversations over food at Canter's Deli
9) Shopping on Melrose Ave
10) Rosewater ice cream at the best shop in town: Mashiti Malone's

Life is awesome out here in La-la land. It truly is a totally different world out here, but it's a world where I am understood and where I belong. I wouldn't trade it for anything and I'm never going to leave.

Jess Raskin was born and raised in Virginia. She made her feature film debut at age 7 in John Water's Cry-Baby as Susie-Q opposite Ricki Lake and Johnny Depp. From there she worked in commercials and theater in the DC area. She attended the College of William & Mary, graduating in 2005 with a double major in Classics and Marketing. After doing the "smart" thing by getting a college degree, it was time to be risky! She packed up her stuff and moved to the City of Angels, 3000 miles away from everyone and everything she'd ever known. She currently lives in NoHo, a few minutes outside Hollywood with her three bunnies. Jess currently is performing in Hollywood in a play called Eavesdropper, which is destined to open in NYC in early 2008!!

Renaissance Man Gets Hip To Cyberspace

Three Hundred Years Too Late

If you ignore Johann Wolfgang Goethe (as many people do, especially now he's dead), the era of the "renaissance man" ended three hundred years ago. This may explain why it's difficult to generate a buzz about proposing an original philosophic basis for the meaning of life while composing intellectually challenging songs at the pianoforte. It's just too seventeenth century. I'm all like: The principle of persistence is inherent in the structure of space time and gives us life's meaning, and they're all like: Dude, can't you see I'm reading US Weekly?

It can be a lonely life. One doesn't run into fellow renaissance men down at the local bar. The guy at the next stool isn't interested in how the cultural evolution of baseball as a recreational pastime can be linked to the origin of life on earth. Or in the philosophical basis of art as a representation of abstract concepts. Fortunately, us renaissance men like to drink, so that's a useful fallback.

People think I'm odd. Hell, I think I'm odd. I have a genius level IQ, a degree in physics from Oxford University, and a penchant for alternative music. Just to give the reader a more concrete feel for the matter, here's a quote from my book ("LIFE! Why We Exist... And What We Must Do to Survive"), immediately followed by a quote from one of my songs:

"The various processes of thermonuclear fusion, combustion, gravitational and electromagnetic attraction, and chemical combination led to the formation of all of the material structures in the universe. These processes give rise to the relative abundances of atomic matter that we see around us according two very simple parameters—the chance that the process will happen, producing a particular form of material, and the chance that this material will remain in existence."

"Well I never told you this / that I was scared when you were depressed.
I was afraid that you might do / what a part of me hoped you might do."

Get the picture?

I have to think that from time to time even Leonardo Da Vinci must have been asked to give it a break. By the way, I was recently struck anew by Da Vinci's all-roundedness by learning that he could, apparently, perform amazing athletic feats, like leapfrogging over another man's head. (But maybe I dreamt that. In any case, I'm not able to perform such feats.)

You may be wondering how it was that Lady and Fluff Girl came to invite me to be a guest blogger. They are, after all, so thoroughly with-it, and I am not. But these days even a renaissance man needs a myspace account, and so I came to Lady and Fluff Girl's page and was quite taken by their wit and off-kilter charm. And since I'm always pursuing some new angle by which to generate interest in and therefore funds with which to support my intellectual and artistic pursuits, I fired them off a suggestion that we somehow join forces. Which leads me to think that perhaps the renaissance man's demise was inevitable after the onset of the industrial revolution --- no more generous patrons steeped in the arts, no more cribs visited by the wings of a hawk. (Look that one up.)

If you've read this far you probably want to know where you can find my book (Amazon) and my music (Amazon). But if you're as smart as you seem, you'll visit me on myspace and get them more cheaply - and Thanks for reading.