Sunday, January 20, 2008

Juan Huevos: Butcher by Day...Hot, Shirtless Rapper by Night

You might walk into a Carrboro, NC bar and find yourself buying Juan Huevos a PBR and no homo but because of him, you and your horny friends have walked into a buffet of the hottest hipster chicks in town. Not only that but Juan and Jake Dead (who make up Diamond Studs) are a refreshing break from the regurgitated "I'm so fucking indie" crap you've been force fed lately. Dude has so much going on that I'm gonna let him take it away (3rd person style) with shit you should probably know about him, no promo. We're kinda smitten, real stalk...I mean real talk.

1) Juan Huevos is a member of the elite underground gang known as
b.e.a.r. -----------> with giovanni marks at the helm. they are an
infection that cannot be protected against spreading. Go to
briefcaserockers.com for more info.

2) Juan Huevos eats more peanut butter EVERYDAY than is probably safe
for humans.

3) Dude reads Betty and Veronica comics with a vengeance.

4) If you think it's about you, girl, it probably is. Then again,
think of all the other girls it could be about. see? you never
really know .......

5) if Huevos is at home alone he is either:

a) in the studio
b) exercising
c) getting high in the studio
d) getting high before he exercises

Now, for a Lady Chavez and Fluffgirl first, check out the audio interview with Juan Huevos conducted by producer and newest collaborator for our site, Mild Davis. It's a shitfaced, explosive 4-minutes of hot topics like football and incest, respectively.



update: if the audio interview isn't working right, we're working on it so come back, our bad

or you can download it http://www.mediafire.com/?elmir2lzk4l


And...we asked some really cool and popular people for reactions to Huevos' songs on his Myspace:

Fat Not Flat

"In 2008, theres no shortage of what sweaty men and a 303 sampler can accomplish... every track on Juan Huevos' site has serious potential... the shiner is "Fat not Flat" an ode to manual appreciation of a voluptuous bottom... and I'd have to say that Huevos may shape up to be just that... sonically fat and voluptuous... I suggest you take a handful at your leisure..."

-Charlie Restless from Elm and Oak

Kiss Freestyle

"I just picture this as a dude drunk as hell, coming home from the bars and deciding to drunk dial a girl and this is the conversation he has. Oh and he's got some 80's radio station on blast in the background while doing all this."

-Electric Haze Records

Only Pony Unicorn

"This is music for Nintendo characters to get crunk to"

-Rafi Kam from Internets Celebrities and Ohword.com

"Juan's 'Only Pony Unicorn' sounds like Peaches' kid brother broke into the studio after dark, armed with a six-pack and a record bag of dusty 80s vinyl - this track is a slutty stomper!"

-Fabulous Les

And if you're not already convinced that Juan and his crew are that shit, then here's a Lady Chavez and Fluffgirl download exclusively for our readers. It's called Wedding Toaster, a collabo with Mild Davis, and is basically the coolest thing you ever got for free that no one else has and that you didn't have to get slut-rageous to acquire. Trust.

Also check out some of Juan Huevos' other collaborative efforts:

Pink Motor Monsters
Uno Dose Productions
BFF Crew= Diamond Studs and George Brazil

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"fat not flat" is the make-out song of the year

TJ said...

the kid don't sleep.....