Saturday, January 19, 2008

Anybody Got a Hangover?

Mild Davis is talking a lot of smack about his google image acquiring skills and has already publicly bitch slapped us with a challenge. In the meantime, (before we punish him Google-y), he whipped up this set of images with captions that best represent the word of the week,

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*This record might as well be called “The Soundtrack of My Life.” It’s kinda sad, really. But at least there are four naked ladies. AND, note the bottom of the sleeve where it says “High In-Fidelity.” Man, cats in the 60’s were some clever bastards.

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*Well fuck me in the goat ass. This is AMAZING!!! If UPN and KROQ give it props, it’s gotta be legit. For serious. And, apparently, this shit only works if worn in full view of the public. If obscured by clothing, it is rendered useless. Does it seem like somebody lost a bet here, or is it just me?

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*I think this is European and I’m not 100% sure what they are trying to say with this poster. I think it means, don’t exercise, bathe or drink coffee so you can be a smelly Frenchman. I’ll look into this further. Check back later for more updates. Until then, just avoid exercise, soap and coffee just to be on the safe side.

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*What the fuck does this have to do with a hangover? I dunno either. But, it’s a good reminder that if you have back and shoulder hair, you should never be backlit if you’re not wearing a shirt. And, that’s a life lesson we can all use.

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*Somebody is gonna be glad she remembered to take her birth control today!

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*I told you so.

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*ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Japan is awesome!

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*Mild Davis – a self portrait

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*Man ass. This seriously popped up three separate times in the search. I guess Google feels there is a link between tight man buns and my drinking problem? Assholes.

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*My dick just fell off and ran away screaming! This monster could be sitting there, not puking and just drinking a Starbucks, and I think my pecker still would’ve headed for the hills in terror. AND, why the fuck is she outside on a park bench?!?! Who let this bitch out of her cage? **sigh**

Oh shit!

Ok, this is another oldie but I was listening to "Still Dreamin" by Nas featuring Kanye West for the 800th time. I still listen to Hip Hop is Dead at least once a week. I have to say Kanye definitely stepped up his lyricism for this song but Nas still shits all over him in verse 2. Is it just me?

I mean its not like a full on huge homeless dude shit you walk by on the way to work (even though they say they don't have money to eat....hmph). It's just like one of those mid-sized turds that when you wipe, nothing is on the paper but you definitely hot-boxed the stall with something fierce!

Best part:

How you a man waitin' for the next man to get rich?
Yo' plan is to stick out yo' hand real quick
So if he feed ya family and he serve you shit
Then he need that head you get and he deserve your bitch

Friday, January 18, 2008

Pick it Up! Pick it Up!

Mini Chavez has been talking about Yo Gabba Gabba and since I have a 5 month delay on everything, I decided to look it up on YouTube just now. It's fucking radical and epic and i feel like a real loser for not looking into it sooner. I wish we had this when we were kids. This is my favorite song so far:

And the Halloween Biz's Beat of the Day is hilarious. I think he's a little too into his character:


Do Artists Make The Best Lovers?

by Dren A.D.

So, some say that artist in any form make for the best lovers. I am here today to set the record straight. Hells yeah we are. See what some fail to realize is that we don’t have shit else to do. Sure we paint, draw, make beats, play g-tar, and all of that other cool ass shit, but besides that, its mostly down time. And you know what that means?? Time for some sexual healing. Healing for you and me.

Here is a little tid-bit about artist you might not know. We make, do, draw and create for others to love. So ask yourself. How do you think we make the cut?

-Dren A.D.

Check out his music and art

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Truck and Balls: Don't Forget the Children (Get it? Oh, Nevermind)

Truck Ballz get no play. Actually they do in VA and they're trying to pass legislation to ban the giant plastic male genitalia that hang from the tow hitch on redneck trucks. Do y'all have these? Do y'all even say "ya'll"? I need to get the fuck out of here. Anyway, I checked out the news online today just in time to catch this article and it was the usual "freedom of speech" vs. "what about the kids?" shit but the good part was the video where homeboy has no teeth. He has major meth face and he's attaching the "Truck Nutz" to his Chevy. Take special note of the Woodstock tattoo on his right wrist (we ain't talking the music festival, but the Peanuts cartoon). The 2nd best part is his cousin who says that its the same thing as a kid seeing a horse with his balls dangling down and you gotta explain it sometime. Oh, and the 3rd best thing is the chick who can't stop giggling while being interviewed and has definitely been smoking for 30 years even though she looks like she's only 29.

Check out the video here.
You have to watch a little commercial in the beginning but its worth it.

And here's the bill:


Offered January 15, 2008

A BILL to amend the Code of Virginia by adding in Article 10 of Chapter 10 of Title 46.2 a section numbered 46.2-1088.7, relating to display on or equipping of motor vehicles with objects resembling human genitalia.

Be it enacted by the General Assembly of Virginia:

1. That the Code of Virginia is amended by adding in Article 10 of Chapter 10 of Title 46.2 a section numbered 46.2-1088.7 as follows:

§ 46.2-1088.7. Display on and equipping of motor vehicles with objects or devices representing or resembling human genitalia.

No person shall display upon or equip any motor vehicle with any object or device that depicts, represents, or resembles human genitalia, regardless of size or scale.

Masturbating to Milano

By Mild Davis
So, after reading LC’s post a few weeks back about the sextastic Woody Harrelson (Come Back Billy, I Wanna Screw), it made me gather up the courage to finally admit to the world my crush of more than 20 years.I remember, as a kid, having a limited palette to choose from in the world of family friendly TV, but one of the shows that made the cut was “Who’s the Boss?”. I mean, how can you go wrong with a slutty grandma, a yuppie mom, an effeminate son, Tony Danza as the maid and ALYSSA MILANO? That’s right fuckers, I said Alyssa Milano. At the time, I was too young to realize the impact she’d come to have on my life and libido. I, along with the rest of America, watched her blossom from the stereotypical pre-teen Jersey tomboy to a full fledge hot piece of 1980’s teenager ass. I’m talkin’ side ponytails, stirrup pants and more day-glo than you could blind a child with…HOT! (Please note that I was a teenager too, so there was no pederast action going on here, ok?)
Those days were brief and fleeting when WTB? got the axe in 1992…but she wasn’t done yet. Not by a long shot.It took her a while to find her direction, but finally she resurfaced on the big screen in a slew of craptastic movies in the mid 90’s. She starred in cinematic fast food like “Confessions of a Sorority Girl,” “Double Dragon,” “Fear” and “Poison Ivy 2.” Other than bad acting and low budgets, these films also contained some fine nekid (NSFW) action from Ms. Milano. Nothing quite rids you of the ‘child star’ label like flashing some titty. Or lesbian scenes. Or pretty much any occasion where you flash some bush. And, it couldn’t have come a better time. This was a period of my life where boobs and such were of an utmost importance to me. Plus, I had HBO in my room as a kid, so that helped. But, she wasn’t content to go down (pun intended) just another B-movie bimbo. She crouched back into the Hollywood hills and prepared for her next sexy assault.
Finally, after a couple Alyssa-free years, she popped her fine ass back onto the collective radar as Jennifer Mancini on the 90210 knock off, “Melrose Place”. She didn’t stay long, but she was there long enough to get my juices flowing again. THEN, finally, it happened. CHARMED! I know it’s labeled as a chick show, but there is no hetero guy in the world that should talk shit on this show. It has three beautiful women running around fighting demons and shit in midriff tops and short skirts. You can’t fuck with that, even on mute. It’s kind of like “Gilmore Girls” but with a WAY higher probability that somebody’s gonna have a knocker break free any minute. Now, don’t get me wrong. Holly Marie Combs (no relation to Puffy apparently) was cute and it was definitely an upgrade to Rose McGowan from Shannon Doherty, but Alyssa Milano ruled them all. She was cast as the lustful (aka slutty) sister and went through about 27 haircuts, 4,000 outfits and 54 boyfriends (including Nick Lachey and that dude from Nip/Tuck) in the show’s five seasons. It’s in syndication now, and comes on every morning so I get to watch her abundant cleavage, sexy buns and plethora of assorted religious tattoos run around fighting evil while I eat my Wheaties in the before work. What a way to start your day, huh?I may never have a chance to tell her how I feel in person, but at least I’ve gotten it off my chest to creep you all out. So, if any of you in blogland happen to have her cell number, hook a brotha up. Or, you could buy me the Alyssa Milano action figure. Otherwise, I’ll just enjoy our daily visits on the CW. I’ll always be true…

-Mild Davis

For more Mild, go here

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Banksy for President, Whoever He Is

You graffiti heads may be already up on Banksy but we just peeped his work and are blown away. For those of you who don't know who he is, he creates political murals in the UK and no one has actually ever seen him or knows his real name, we're pretty sure (well maybe his mama). Here are some of our favorites:

More here

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Pase Rock Wants To Show You His Privates Too

Pase Rock, originally out of Cincinatti (“Cincy”), and part of the group Five Deez has been getting hipsters and hip hop heads moving to Lindsay Lohan’s vagina and other taboo topics backed by bumping beats for some time now. With friends and collaborators like Flosstradamus, Amanda Blank, Diplo and Spank Rock (to name a few), Pase is not just staying ahead of the curve but creating it and looking damn good doing it too.

L and F: "Lindsay Lohan’s Revenge" is a fan favorite. What’s the story behind that one?

PR: I was feeling unproductive so I made a beat and went over Santi's house and Naeem was on the floor passed out from the night before. I was feeling really pumped up for some reason like "let's make a song!" but we all just kind of sat there and twiddled our thumbs. I was perusing the internet as I often do, and came across the Lohan debacle. a week before that it was Britney and then the week after it was Paris Hilton. So Naeem rises from his sleep unexpectedly and somewhat enthusiastically like "Lets make a song about Lindsay Lohan's pussy!" Santi and I busted out laughing cuz it just sounded so absurd. that, and dude was finally alive, we thought he might not ever get up. Then he starts rapping like the "Lohan showing them coochie lips bit..." and we just kept adding and adding. we recorded it maybe the next day or a few days later I don't remember. Then Alex (XXXChange) completely rehauled the music and voila there you have it.

L and F: We have a blog, you have a blog, Fully Fitted, and pretty much everyone else we know. We know what role Myspace plays in getting music heard but how important are blogs?
PR: I dunno. I get some of my music from blogs. If you have a really good blog I guess it's cool. I dunno how important they are in the grand scheme of things. there's so many, I don't really check them so much. I probably check like 3 -5 blogs on the regular.

L and F: Any New Years Resolutions?

PR: Work out a lot more and get some plastic surgery. NEW MONEY!

L and F: You basically hang out and collab with everyone who is really hot right now. Were you always part of the “in-crowd”?

PR: YES! why do I want to hang out with losers? all my friends are better than your friends, and they're cooler and prettier and sexier than your friends too. I was born with it, what can I say?
But for real though, the fact that you asked this question is a bit worrisome. Some people care about that kind of thing, I like to think I don't. Some people can handle attention and others just process it completely differently, it depends on who you are as a person. It's sad to see somebody that believes their own hype and just completely lose their sense of self and well being and just transform into the same douchebags that they mock and complain about. Fortunately most of the people I surround myself with are pretty together, but we all have our moments I suppose.
L and F: What’s next for Pase Rock?

PR: tomorrow. hot damn. it's a new day.

The Question We Always Ask...

L and F: When you blow up super big, will you become a media whore driving around drunk and showing your privates like some celebrities we know?

media whore, yes.

driving drunk, no.

showing my privates, always.

Check out Pase Rock on Myspace