Saturday, December 8, 2007

Help Us Help You

We all know you want some Lady Chavez and Fluff merch. Just picture being the coolest fucker in the room sporting one of our shirts. You will be like, "What? You ain't know? Damn, I thought you were cool bro." Well, we are still waiting for this to happen as well, someone to take pity on us and our stick-figure drawing selves. Someone who kinda knows what they're doing is what we are going for. So, we are having the 1st annual Lady Chavez and Fluffgirl T-shirt Art Contest!!! You will draw us something you would want to wear and we will choose a winner. You must submit your entry by Dec. 31. A winner will be announced on January 1st if we are not too hungover. Lady Chavez and Fluffgirl will use your image to make lots of money and you will get a free t-shirt...oh and a top friend spot on Myspace? and ummmm...a link on our blog...and mad props. Please send all art to

P.S. 10% of the proceeds will go to LC's Carlo Rossi Fund. Let's do it for a cause!

Best Rap Battle In a Movie

Check out this raptacular clip from Lady Chavez's fave movie, Teen Witch. If you haven't seen this movie, you will never truly reach enlightenment. If you don't know about this awesome rap scene, then you are not really a hip hop head like you claim. The battle starts getting real live around 36 seconds. These people are so believable, its unreal!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

We have some hygeine-conscious readers!

We had a poll this week and asked our readers what was the best advice. Here were the results:

You can't turn a hoe into a housewife
1 (7%)

You lay down with dogs, you're gonna get fleas
2 (15%)

Never trust a big butt and a smile
3 (23%)

Wipe front to back, don't bring the shit to the clit
7 (53%)

Whoa, I thought I was the only one screaming the "shit to the clit" anthem as I hovered over pukey porcelain at the frat house with 3 other girls waiting inside. The Zima drinkers would be astonished by my lack of couth and also devastated that they had been wiping wrong all along. Hey, it was always my good deed for the night, enlightening my fellow females, before I poured out my red cup of Natty Light onto some chickenhead's head before departing. Those were the days.

Thanks for your participation!


Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Sex, Booze and Electronics

I have this old Playboy December issue from 1983 that I got from some dirty old men at a yard sale a few years ago. I got bored with my hair the other night and decided to go fishing through this mag for some styles to stay ahead of the curve. They were all feathered messes not to mention the au naturel going on down below but I found some funny, un-rauchy pics that my readers will appreciate:

If I weren't 4 in '83, I would have smoked these

This one was awkward and creepy because I was also taking these pics of the mag in a field in a skirt with my panties showing.

This is like the first detachable face (tape-style), that guy LOVES it

This was the hottest chick in the mag, lookin' like the Hollywood Nails cutie

"Is it live, or is it Memorex?" I can't tell!!!!!!

Scarface came out that month, classic.

Remember when the phone cord was so sexy wrapped around the thigh? Why was that? I don't know but techonology really made this obsolete with the addition of the Zach Morris phone.

My, how Hennessy has changed

I would still mustache ride it

Don't you just want to punch this dude in the face?! He must drink a lot of this...

Leave yo' comments player...

You don't like Fun?

Ok, so the Kid Sister/Kanye West "Pro Nails" video dropped. Since we are huge fans, we checked out what the online community thought on all our favorite blogs that posted it and You Tube. Wow, lots of haters! We can't even believe people would act like this song and Kid Sister are not the shit. The only conclusion we can come up with is that they don't like fun. They are the dudes in the mosh pit at a show that get mad when someone elbows them in the tooth and they start fighting for real. They are the chicks that bump into the cutest girl at the club and try to spill Seabreeze all on the vintage pumps. Well, fuck you fun-haters because we're reppin' Chi-town even though we've never been there because Kid Sister is that new new fun shit.

And...people were saying she's so ghetto, are you from Nebraska or sumthin? Kid Sis ain't ghetto, trust. I saw a lady in the 7-Eleven with 2 Lee Press-ons left on each hand and the toes were just about matchin'.

Check out our interview with Kid Sister from August

And don't forget to peep the new video

Monday, December 3, 2007

"Dance to the Music" for

Sitting at the neon-lit runway, I hand the blond a $5 bill and tell her, “But this time, I want you to dance to the music”. Years, later, I’d be working at a similar strip club bartending and watching the girls do the same moves to every single song nightly, assuredly not even adjusting for change in tempo. Eyes glazed over and truly half-steppin’, the dancers would coast through the same routine they just did 3 and a half minutes ago. I say to a waitress, “Didn’t she just do all that there to Barry Manilow and here we are on 2 Live Crew and it’s all the same shit?” We laugh awkwardly, knowing that this only makes it worse that we work in this dump.

Each girl of course had their own staple signature move which I could always expect for them to come back to at least once each song like tagging home base. Xtacy would pop that pussy like this and Kaos would bounce that booty like that. Jade would hang upside down on the pole causing a hush over the crowd similar to the tight rope at a circus. Applause would break out after she dismounted without completely fracturing her collarbone. I, admittedly, was also impressed by this and the way Lacy would make her tits flex and shake independently of one another as only silicone bags can do. I would go home at night and try this in the mirror but would see only my eyebrows fluttering in the reflection one at a time. It became clear that actual dancing ability was not a prerequisite for the job nor did it have any bearing on how much revenue you will bring in. I was more than disappointed to also conclude that strip club-goers have demanded nothing more than a tight ass and a pulse all these years. (Read More)

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Donny Goines: No Studio Thug

Harlem-based emcee, Donny Goines speaks on the streets like one can only if they've really lived it. Truly on his grind, Donny understands the importance of staying focused and getting shit done. His songs inspire the greatness he will soon achieve and he's real hush hush about his groupies.

L and F:
Your music is real, down-to-earth and positive. What do you feel is most important for your listeners to take away?

DG: The truth. Although I talk about a lot of subjects that people may or may not be able to relate to I want them to know that I'm giving them apart of my life and story. Even though music is entertainment for the most part I try to give people real stories they can relate to because not everyone drives a Bentley, has a Mansion and a bunch of jewelry.

L and F: Tell us about The Excerpt.

DG: The Excerpt is a small part of a much larger story. I
wanted to give the people an idea of some things you can expect from me in the future so thats where the initial idea came from. I decided to make it concept album which focuss on one part of the story which is "The Artist", so every song on this project has some sort of hip hop influenced theme to it. Its also a progressive album that has a beginning, middle and ending (which is open ended). Its the first part of a trilogy.

L and F: You have a weekly blog on Reading it, it is evident that you are a smart dude and having just started in 2006, you are already the authority on how to not fuck up in the music business. What kind of feedback have you received?

DG: Well I wouldn't go THAT far haha but I know a little bit. Overall the feedback has been positive. I wanted to do something for others out there who were just like me (coming up without guidance). Instead of having a self absorbed blog that focused all on me I felt that passing along knowledge to others served a better purpose and the people seem very receptive and appreciative.

L and F: Ohword has your back all day and they are very picky when it comes to their hip hop. Tell us about the Stand Up! show coming up on Dec 6th and what one of your shows is typically like.

DG: Well that show is going to be dope. I have a 20 minute set and will be performing along side other talented artists such as Cause, Hired Gun, NY Oil and a Special guest. I am really looking forward to it. What you can expect from me at a show? I give it my all. I just did a show last week and there were about 7 people in the room. I performed like it was 7000. Its all about giving your all.

L and F: What is the groupie situation like? We want some stories.

DG: Hahaha...... Thats the first time someone asked me something like that. As crazy as this might sound I really don't "indulge" so to speak with the groupies. I have a lot of women on my ass to be truthful but I am just one of those type of people that really immerse myself into things so I really don't have time for that. Maybe when I'm sitting on a couple mil and I can relax a bit Ill have something for you haha.

L and F: When you get super big, will you become a media whore, driving around drunk and showing your privates like some celebrities we know?

DG: I doubt it. Kind of goes along with what I said before. I dont drink or do drugs (did enough of that coming up), had my share of DWI's, women, parties, blah, blah, blah WAY before rap. Ive partied enough for two lifetimes honestly and right now my only goal is greatness. Others can pursue those things.

Get the Donny Goines Experience here and there are some downloadable joints but definitely click that link to buy the full album