Sorry...we're just really excited because we have a theme song now. It is produced by Mild Davis and features emcee Juan Huevos. They basically took a 12 minute drunken bragging session from Fluff and I and miraculously chopped it into something they could actually use for a song. They truly are miracle-workers. Hope you like it! Leave your comments as always...
Despite the fact that I started shaving in 6th grade, it never dawned on me to grow a full beard. Sideburns? Yup. Goatee? Yup. But never the whole thing. Around Thanksgiving, at the bequest of a lovely lady, I decided to go for it. After two weeks of itchy hell, it finally filled out. And what a glorious beard it is. You know you got a good beard, when strangers comment on it’s fullness at the bar and mothers in the mall pull their children a little closer because they think you’re a terrorist. So, for those of you with fresh shaved faces, here are my top five reasons to grow a beard.
1. Ladies LOVE it. They may give you the ‘it itches when we kiss’ line, but they secretly love it. It’s some caveman/cavewoman shit.
2. Dudes RESPECT it. Next to penis envy, beard envy is number two on the dude hierarchy. 3. It keeps your face warm in the winter. It’s like a fur coat for your face and will stop an icy breeze in its tracks.
4. You get 10 minutes of extra sleep in the AM. There is nothing like not having to shave every day, and, instead, rolling over and snoozing out for an extra ten.
5. People you don’t like won’t recognize you. When my beard filled in, it was like that movie Face/Off. Nobody knew who I was for weeks. A beard makes it easy to duck the haters and douchebags. Plus, you can make out with the same chick twice, and she’ll never catch on.
So flick your Bic and let it grow. As your cool-kid status points begin to elevate, you’ll see the truth.
Someone asked me yesterday to name some hip hop love songs. I was a jug o' wine deep and stumped. The only song I could think of was "Renee" by Lost Boyz which should be pretty high on the list. Common is off limits for obvious reasons. So this morning I may be hungover but there should be no excuse why I can't think of any more love jams. So, before I google the hell out of this, I need some readers to help me out. Here are the rules:
1) "Love" song means (man and a woman...no homo because that would be some super underground shit), no mama songs, or lovin' your hood
2) No Common
3) It has to be good, not just a song that talks about love
4) No search engines!
UPDATE: The list is out at OhWord.com so check it out and see if your love songs were on the list...then discuss and you can download the compilation at the end of the post or here
Baby Dad and I watched "Shooter" last night. It has Mark Wahlberg in it who plays a sniper and the movie is well-rounded dopeness. Well, afterwards I knew predictably that Baby Dad was gonna have to get on Call of Duty 4 and pretend like he's shanking and sniping dudes.
Now, this reminds me of when I was a kid and my brother and I would watch 80's Jean-Claude Van Damme and right as the credits would begin to roll I would catch a glimpse of a 200 pound blur in my left peripheral. In a second my jugular would be attacked by a British Knight and I'd by on the floor in the fetal position. This would also apply to WWF. I'd be laying on the couch minding my business when I'd see my brother launching off the arm of the sofa, yelling "DDT!!!!!" and would get a good blow to the ribs and the wind knocked out of me. I was also an unwilling opponent in arm wrestling after every "Over the Top" viewing at our house. If we had a scorpion laying around, you best believe I wouldn't have a hand to type right now.
Why must guys do this? It seems to be a reflex and nothing even premeditated...just a primal instinct to internalize the violence and unleash it on the nearest innocent bystander. Women are perfectly satisfied living vicariously and thinking "Oh, it would be nice to be so badass." Not boys...they've got something to prove in 10 minutes and then they're back to reality.
What ever happened to the rap group? At some point in the bragging, boasting and bullshitting, rappers forgot how to play well with others and we landed in ‘solo artist land.’ Not that there aren’t plenty of mc’s who can carry a full 12 tracks, but the group just gave us a dynamic of different flows trading verses and turning the show into a party. But thankfully, there are groups like TANYA MORGAN who haven’t forgotten them good old days. These three fellas (Von Pea, Ilyas and Donwill) from Brooklyn spent 2007 touring the country in support of their release, Moonlighting, and have a growing roster of fans that include names like ?uestlove. And 2008 holds big things for these hombres, with three releases and tour plans in the works. If you get the chance to see TM live, don’t be a busta. Get off your ass and go see them do the damn thing in your face and in the flesh. I saw them a few months back and it was one of the best hip hop shows I saw all year. But wear your dancing shoes, because you WILL shake a more than a little ass......you will thank me later. - Mild Davis
L and F: We hate to ask the obvious/played out, but can you tell our readers how the name Tanya Morgan came about?
TM: This is Donwill (the guy who wears glasses) and first off, on behalf of the group id like to say whatup to all the readers out there and thanks to Lady and Fluff for having us.
In a nutshell, the name comes from us trying to stand out. The scene is so cluttered nowadays and while there are alot more opportunities to get noticed it is also alot easier to get lost in the clutter. Between the internet and how much easier it is to actually make music nowadays there has been this surge in mediocre music and while naming yourself after a fictional woman isn't really the smartest marketing idea in the world, figuring out that we are actually a pretty fresh 3 man rap outfit makes for an incredible OH SHIT!! moment don't you think?
L and F: What's a little known fact about Tanya Morgan that we wouldn't know by just Googling you?
TM: I can't speak for Von Pea or ilyas but im a HUGE fan of the CW Monday night line up. Not that Gossip Girl bullshit though, I'm talkin about that Girlfriends/The Game hour. maaaan listen... I love them shits, LOVE. With Girlfriends its less about the story and more about gawking at Diana's daughter and her crew. I'll watch the reruns and everything just to stare at Joan... and Lyn... and sometimes Mya. William's wife is winning too though. As far as The Game you could put them Mowry twins in anything and im watching intently. I been lovin them since Sister Sister. I was even down through the bad hair days! The awkward puberty years, I was there and in love. I'm tellin you I been all in with them for a minute. I cant tell them apart for shit tho lol. I'm definitely into the storyline on The Game and all I wanna say is that yeah Derwin may have fucked up but Melanie is on some bullshit son. It aint even gotta be like that!
L and F: Do you 3 already have ladyfriends or are you available for some groupie love....or both?
TM: This is the kinda question that will get me and my big mouth in trouble so I'll speak for myself and say that yes i am single. As far as groupie love, if that involves purchasing instead of downloading, fans bringing their friends to shows, introducing other people to our music and just supporting in general then HELL YES we are all available.
(you like how i spun that didnt you... lol)
L and F: What can Tanya Morgan fans look forward to in the near and distant future?
TM: Much like our first time out with the Moonlighting campaign, 2008 involves a three tiered assault: mixtape, EP and LP. While I dont have specific dates I can still give you the run down.
Tanya Morgan is a Rap Group: we are dropping a mixtape in conjunction with Myspace, Okayplayer and DJ Soul that is meant to serve as a sort of 'history in brief' or even 'greatest hits' for us. While there will be a few exclusives on there we have a ton of material floating around that never had a formal home and this is a great way to package all of those songs in one place. And of course it will be available for free download. Chances are all of your favorite songs will be on there.
The Bridge EP: We *JUST* wrapped recording on this project. Eight brand new songs with production by Von Pea & Brickbeats (our in-house producers) with Mysterious and 88 Keys on the help out. This one will be for retail of course, both physical and digital.
Brooklynati: And this is our long awaited sophomore slump proof return. We have been compiling demo's here and there for a while but now that we have sorted out the EP and the method by which to get the music to the masses for the second time around we are hard at work on this one. Of course production will be handled by Tanya's in house producers but it wont be solely those two. I am not saying any names yet simply because its all tentative but definitely expect to see a guestlist for both producers and MC's. We promise not to clutter the project tho, thats not our style.
Of course we will be doing a tour in support of these projects starting around march and lasting for a few weeks. I've got a mile long list of cities in my gmail right now but until they are all confirmed ill just keep that info to myself. But chances are if you live within driving distance of a major to mid-major market we'll be in yo hood so come thru!
L and F: We saw something on your site about Lessondary. What's that all about and can our blogspots be BFF's?
TM: The Lessondary is our squad. Its pretty much just our umbrella of trusted peers. Not all of them are musicians but its our working community. We are musicians, writers, designers, etc and we hold each other down however need be. Most we started up the Lessondary Radio Podcast/Blog which is basically us doing publicly what we do in private, talking shit and playing music. Its a pretty fun show and while Von and myself have had the longest running show you never know who is gonna pop up on the podcast.
And of course we can get our BFF on, consider yourself blogrolled (not to be confused with rickrolled)
The question we always ask....
L and F: When you guys blow up super big, will you become media whores, driving around drunk and showing your privates like some celebrities we know?
TM: Honestly (i know this is not the intent of the question) i have a huge problem with the way we stargaze and give media coverage to these celebutantes and the like. Its really all just kinda disturbing to me, very very disturbing. Especially when its all about ridicule, chastizing and just tearing people down in general. That said im an avid watcher of TMZ tv :/... im not hypocritical, im complex!
But id probably model myself after John Mayer with regards to handling celebrity. The media HATES him and calls him all kinda douchebags and shit but thats only because he never gives them what they want. That guy is freaking awesome.
35 hours…16 minutes…37 seconds until the Tar Heels take the court at the Dean E. Smith Center for the first meeting with Dook for the 2007-2008 season. In case you are wondering (or if you’re not) this is one of the most important days of the year for any UNC basketball fan. It’s so exciting for us that it’s like Christmas morning mixed with the day you lost your virginity. Lots of butterflies and the nagging feeling that it might not be as good as you’d hoped. Plus, I hate Dook as much as I can possibly hate anything in the world. Even more than Reggaeton, relish and Jeff Foxworthy put together don’t come close.
For those that don’t live in NC, and aren’t subject to the hysteria, the UNC/Dook basketball rivalry is the biggest thing in sports…EVER. Fuck the Yankees vs. Red Socks bullshit. Not even close. This is two towns, Durham and Chapel Hill, less than ten miles apart, that want nothing more to watch the other’s team suffer humiliating defeats, career ending injuries and as much bad shit as karma can throw at them. During a UNC/Dook game a few years back this douche-nugget showed up to our bar in Chapel Hill wearing a Dook jersey and cheering for those pillow biters. Let’s just say he spent the second half locked in the girl’s bathroom. Yes, it’s like that.
I understand that most of the country couldn’t care less about tomorrow’s game. But, please understand there are no neutral parties in the UNC/Dook debate. You’re either with us or against us. So, if you’re forced to choose, don’t be a fucktard and pull for Dook. Believe me when I tell you that they are the biggest collection of short, white, three-pointer shooting, never-gonna-go-to-the-NBA, anal fisting aficionados that you will ever see play the game. They will spend 40 minutes whining about calls and patting each other on the ass. Be a real G, and back them Tar Heels. It’s like supporting America and everything that’s good about it. Like PBR, boobs and Slayer. And, you don’t want to be a terrorist do you, Dookie? That’s what I thought.
What is up with all the celebrities skipping rehab and going straight to the psych ward?
Sincerely,
Eat in Chicken
Dear EIC,
First of all, you know I don't get down with talking about celebs because the shit is played out daily. However, it is correct that the psych ward is the new rehab and bitches are taking it to a whole new level. I'm not sure you guys are aware of this, but I happen to be the epitome of mental health and well-being. I might talk a lot of shit but that is only because I am more stable in the cranium than my peers and somebody's gotta suck teeth at the chemical imbalance all around. Since I love my readers, I will let you in on how to stay sane and not end up in a straight jacket (shit ain't cute)...
Lady Chavez' Guide to Mental Stability
1) Smoke grass (I mean I don't, I'm just sayin')
2) Stop thinking about yourself all the damn time. There have been tons of studies on how people who think the least about themselves are the happiest (I'm gonna go ahead and say this especially applies to the dude who is a chronic jerker....work a soup kitchen or sumthin' you sick fuck!)
3) Do some meditation, just like 10 minutes a day. Your morning dump would be a good start.
4) Listen to more Reggae
5) Be artsy...creating stuff makes people happy even if your self-portrait ends up looking like Quasimoto, put that shit on the fridge
6) Don't do drugs!!!!!!!!! Damn, its mad lame. Have you listened to N.E.R.D's new jam? If you're passing up going home with Pharrell to snort lines, then you ain't gonna be happy in the morning. Trust!
7) Act looptid/dupid. Nobody thinks you're cool if you're all serious plus you're not going to be happy if you're moping around trying to look emotionally tortured. Get over yo'self and do something funny.
8) Nothing in excess. This might be the most important thing. Don't do anything to the extreme because you'll end up coming down hard or getting addicted to shit.
9) Lose the baggage. This is referring to that friend or relative who hates on everything and is dramaful. I don't care if its your quadraplegic grandmother, if she has a stank attitude, cut the cord (unless she's got some inheritance in the works)
10) Don't have sex til the 3rd date and girls, don't make out in the bar with your friend unless you are truly lezzie! That's real talk.
We're super impressed with the art of Sonny Wong and his hip hop music is righteous as well. Below, we have a Wong originally but is such a coincidence because it looks just like that dude down the street from us that hobbles out to help us with our weedwacker and gives us the crazy, inappropriate eye.
Here's a little autobiography:
Sonny Wong is a mean egomaniac that lives in the Redwoods high above the Lost Coast in Humboldt County. There are rumors that he haunts many of the local hangouts, where patrons have heard the clanking of empty beer bottles and a gaggin' stench of beer breath. Often after these "sightings" weird and spooky drawings will be dripping on the walls. Sonny Wong is the 5th Great Grandson of Chief Joseph Brandt of the Mohawk Indians and still to this day is affected by the inappropriate number of enzymes in his system to breakdown alcohol properly, so please don't feed him booze, he will most likely blackout and start stabbing people.
Lady Chavez: I'm a corporate whore by day, mother by night, emcee by lunch break and blogger by whenever the boss isn't behind me. People think I'm a hippie because I don't eat meat and I talk about "positive vibes" and shit. However I don't wear patchouli and I shower regularly. Sorry guys! I'm indescribable if you'd like to know but hopefully you can piece me together blog style...
Fluff: I like to waste time on the internet (obviously). I like kitties and doggies and horsies and babies. I could probably hold you at gunpoint and rob you. And I am definitely cooler than you.
Despite the fact that I started shaving in 6th grade, it never dawned on me to grow a full beard. Sideburns? Yup. Goatee? Yup. But never the whole thing. Around Thanksgiving, at the bequest of a lovely lady, I decided to go for it. After two weeks of itchy hell, it finally filled out. And what a glorious beard it is. You know you got a good beard, when strangers comment on it’s fullness at the bar and mothers in the mall pull their children a little closer because they think you’re a terrorist. So, for those of you with fresh shaved faces, here are my top five reasons to grow a beard.
We're super impressed with the art of Sonny Wong and his hip hop music is righteous as well. Below, we have a Wong originally but is such a coincidence because it looks just like that dude down the street from us that hobbles out to help us with our weedwacker and gives us the crazy, inappropriate eye.
Here's a little autobiography:
Friend him on his Myspace
