Riskay Knows Whats Up

So, I am pretty sure it is cliche to post Riskay's song "Smell Yo Dick" at this point but that joint really speaks to me and what my mama always told me to do if you think your man is cheatin'. I just figured it was girl code and never expected someone to make a song about it, much less some Sims 2 nerd to put it to video until I was reading Imageyenation and they had posted it. So, enjoy my friends but don't spread the word too much because I don't want baby dad to start scrubbing his dick before he comes home now that the secret is out. I will be checking regularly for baby wipes in the ride at least.

I'm Pissed at Starbucks

Namely b/c they do a killer job of making my favorite drink: hot chocolate. This is the problem- I feel like a traitor going to Starbucks. My dad operates a grassroots coffee shop in Atlanta (Java Lords Coffee House – check them out if you’re ever in Little Five Points). So, I’m all like, anti-establishment when it comes to big business and coffee, aka Starfucks. I mean who do they think they are with their “artsy” black and whites, cliché jazz, and wireless internet monopolies?? But I love their hot chocolate. Dammit. I’ve tried to find alternatives here in Hoboken and I’ve even been to several of the so-called hipster spots in Brooklyn, only to have been disappointed time and time again. Its just seems like I can’t rebel enough, b/c I always seem to find myself back at the same spot ordering a grande hot cocoa. I’m here now- writing this and drinking it. Shame on me. The problem stems form the fact that I don’t drink coffee. There are plenty of places that I could go if I wanted to be anti-whatever and drink a cup of joe. But caffeine makes me homicidal and so, I have concentrated my efforts on finding an acceptable hot drink replacement. I like tea, and I usually do the milk and sugar thing b/c I just like sweet, creamy drinks. But hot cocoa is my specialty. I even make a sick batch of hot cocoa myself – Williams & Sonoma makes the best mix EVER. They package real French chocolate shavings in a tin and you stir 5 heaping tablespoons into hot milk. Amazing. So when I order one and watch as the barista pulls out a bottle of syrup and squeezes/pumps it into the cup, I cringe. Syrup doesn’t cut it. And I know what you’re saying – well, Starfuck’s uses syrup, right? I’m not saying their method is the best – it just tastes better than anyone else’s nasty syrup method. Which is why I’m pissed, ok?



Lady Chavez suggested making Mexican Hot Chocolate pictured below during my lunch break. My boss would not appreciate. Any other suggestions?

Love,

Fluff

An Open Letter To My Ipod by Lady Chavez for Ohword.com

Dear Ipod,

It’s been 5 long, panic-inducing days with the radio since you’ve been gone. Last time I saw you, K-Ci and JoJo were crooning from that flashing dog you were attached to while I was getting busy like I did as a teen when that 2nd Jodeci tape came out. Now I’m “feenin” for your swift return before T-Pain and DJ “We The Best!” Khaled drive me to drankin’. Alicia has gotten whiny and Mary J is….well, yawn. I ride around in the company car, trying to light on one single, good song I can bob my head to while I’m giving road dome….I mean driving. Was it that awkward Hall and Oates (AKA Holland Oats) phase I went through just recently that turned you away? I promise to never play them again or that annoying “Gasolina” song that I downloaded post-club and irrational at the crib that night. I hope it wasn’t the M.I.A. I rocked because it got good reviews, only to realize I was just perpetrating as a raver and have never actually done any psychedelics. I certainly did you no favor by spilling Banana Red MD 20/20 on you that time or leaving you on the Jetta’s roof for you to fly off and be trampled on by Church Street tranny feet until I rescued you....(Read More)

Ced Hughes: The 7 Cities Next Finest

Ced Hughes is a young cat who has been blazing the trail between NC and VA and gaining some major music cred. His online, downloadable mixtape bumps beats and rhymes through your speakers comparable to emcees way beyond Ced's years. He's got a natural charisma to make you wanna keep track of your girl at his show and he really likes the word "Dope".

L and F: We are REALLY impressed with your mixtape. Your flow is seemingly
effortless (and you can sing) and specifically, your music seems designed to make us dance. Was that a big priority for you?

Ced: Ha. I try to sing I'm not really that good…I wish I was super dope though…But yeah on the Mix( I like to call it a mix, mixtapes are for rappers) I wanted a fun carefree vibe…Something you can put on and instantly feel dope.. Life is already too serious, there ought to be more dancing.

L and F: The beats are tight and obviously inspired by various music genres. What are your influences?

Ced: I have to go with Prince, Michael, The System and James Brown off G.P. but umm I really digging K-OS, Mark Ronson, and 1990 LL Cool J right now…On my Euro tip everyone on Ed Banger, TTC, Phoenix, Benny Sings and of course Daft Punk.. There's a lot more but yeah, wack people are also good influences, they let me know what's not cool.

L and F: You're from our area in VA. Do you think hip hop artists from the 7 cities have more of an opportunity to be discovered now since Timbaland, Missy, Pharrell and Clipse came out of here?

Ced: Well I'm actually live in NC but I guess I'm basically VA, I'm five minutes away from the line and I spend 90% of my time in Norfolk, but I do think I can speak on the 7 cities and it's large potential to create dope music. I don't think the opportunity is any different from any other city outside of the majors. It seems like even though VA artist have set the climate for popular music this year and past the "industry" still doesn't realize the amount of quality talent
here. Therefore we have to follow the formula and build a buzz and grind until we see results.

L and F: So far, Radiohead and Saul Williams have posted their new albums for download as either free or artist donation online. Right now, your whole mixtape is downloadable at no cost... is this the future of music?

Ced: That's a good question, like I think I read that "Rainbows" netted Radiohead like 2 million, which is good for the artist but I think that unless your already an established act your not going to see those results. So as for the future of music, in theory it would be dope because your cutting out the middle man and all the bullshit that goes along with them, but I think it'll be awhile before we see a major change like that in music.

L and F: Describe for us a typical Ced Hughes Show.

Ced: Dope people, confetti, bubbles, boobies, dancing, sweat, and haters there's always haters but we love 'em.

L and F: When you get super big, will you become a media whore, driving around all drunk and showing your privates like some celebrities we know?

Ced: I don't think I would be a total media whore I'd probably pick and choose the right times to let my nuts hang out…Besides I think my nuts are pretty dope.

Download his mixtape. We promise you will not be sorry....

Check out Ced on Myspace

Trend and Anti-Trend: Make Love, Not War

Let's start with:

Anti-trend: Faux Gun Stuff

Even if you're just simulating that you have guns or that automatic weapons are so cool that you have to have 276 of them on your shirt or a gun tatt pointing at your crotch, it's just suddenly lame. We're in the middle of some bullshit war and hipsters are running around like they're hardcore and about to bust a cap. So, maybe they're just being ironic, either way we're over it.


Trend: Peace and Urban Tranquility


So, be uncool with us and wear shit that promotes peace. I got this awesome "No More War" hat at the Norfolk Craft Mafia's Handmade Parade this weekend. I haven't worn a hat in a minute but thought it was dope so I picked it up. They've got more just for you and the shit was only $7. Check K. Parel out.

This is my proposal. Go back to the tattoo shop and have them ink a flower into the barrels of all the gats you got on you and call it a day friends.

Oh yeah, and vote.


Peace and Love,
Lady Chavez

Lady and Fluff Like It Raw – A Tribute to Ol’ Dirty Bastard on the Anniversary of His Death

November 13th will be the anniversary of ODB's death. Now, just to let ya'll know- befo’ there was skeet skeetin’ (yes, we are white girls and we know what that means, but just don't say it to or on our faces), there was the lyrical genius of Russell Tyrone Jones, aka Ol’ Dirty Bastard…........okay, maybe GENIUS is not word we would use when it comes to his lyrics (read: “Let me continue, verse number two, Style is wild, Dirty stinkin' like doo-doo”). But what he lacked in poignancy, he certainly made up for with his compelling personality and innovative lyrical presentation. His name says it all – and was meant to convey the fact that his “style” (as in kung-fu style on the mic) had no “Master.”

Look, we think its great that Tupac and Biggie get mad play when the anniversary of their deaths roll around (even though we know they’re runnin in Venezuela). But what about the man considered a founding father of Wu-Tang, one of the greatest and most influential rap groups of our time? The man who made us call him Baby Jesus? The guy who made it cool to have a “grill” long before Paul Wall was a nut stain in mama’s panties? Lady and Fluff are all about giving respect where respect is due and think it's high time the industry steps up on this one. If we can’t get a national holiday out of this, naw mean, the least people could do is get a bumper sticker or something. In the least.

And if you’re real motivated call your local radio station and request the HELL out of Dirt McGirt. And always remember: Big Baby Jesus is watching you.

Lady and Fluff

PS...Our boy Tricknology found these rap snacks in Philly (of course) with ODB on them. It doesn't make sense that someone would really manufacture these, but we'll take them!

Barbie Gets PC and Then We Ruin It

So, Mini Chavez and I are in the holiday spirit because Corporate America and Mema are already shoving it down our throats. Consequently, we were checking out the Barbie Collection online this morning and these are the ridiculous ones we found:

1) Barbie Collector Tooth Fairy - Caucasian

-Apparently, Barbie is now specified as Caucasian or African American (we didn't see any Pacific Islander). I thought the blonde hair and blue eyes would have set it off but whateva.

2) Barbie My Scene My Bling Bling Styling Head Madison Doll -That name is silly and out of date with all the "blings". They should just called it "Lil Kim in her Prime"

3. Teresa® Doll and Mika™ Cat

This Barbie actually scoops up imaginary shit and piss after her sorry ass cat has hooked up the "litter box". Who the hell wants their Barbie to do laborious things involving fecal matter? Does this Barbie also come with a brillo pad to scrub out Ken's skidmarks from his fleshy tighties?!



4) Barbie 80's Cher Bob Mackie Doll
-This Cher doll was on the 2nd page of the Barbie stuff....like this is on any kid's wish list. I told Mini Chavez that I really liked this one and she was like, "Mom, Halloween is over"...Ouch! and she's only 3. She also said "If I could turn back time, I'd throw some Jordache's on her no-ass havin' self!"...ok, that one is not true..

Finally, these weren't really on the Barbie site but they are still on our list for Santa...


xoxoxo,
Lady Chavez