Sunday, September 9, 2007

Dear Lady Chavez,

Dear Lady Chavez,
Is it ok to recycle my ex?

One is the loneliest Number

Dear One,

I am glad you brought this up because it is something I have been meaning to tell all of you...Hell to the fuck no! I have been guilty of this all over the place so I am officially certified to tell you this is a bad idea. You will waste months and months of your life that you can NEVER get back. If it didn't work the first time, then let it go, for real. You will just break up again, only
this time you will feel even more stupid and he probably would have gotten a birthday and hanukkah presents out of it. You will probably just be the recipient of one of his newly acquired std's.

Ok, how can I explain this better? Recycling an ex is like drunk-dialing because loneliness is just as intoxicating as a night of $1 jager bombs and an 8 ball. You will metaphorically be doing the walk of shame right back to your apartment where you started but you've lost your dignity and your ass virginity.

Yours Truly,
Lady Chavez

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