"Mommy and Me" By Hillbilly Harlot

MF seeks SF or MF for drinking, dancing and shopping. Must have lots of drama and like to shoot tequila. Must be willing to piss outdoors and ride public transportation..........
It's so incredibly hard to make friends as an adult. Especially after moving to a different town where you know not one person. Every single friend I have made over the past 6 years has been through work. Which is fine. Hell, one of my bff's I met through work. She runs a blog and is too busy to call or email me (hint...her initials are L and C) Anyways. She laze.
I tried making some friends online and actually met one several months back. Now, I like her fine but we went out with some of her friends in the dirty south (jersey, that is). Her friend kept telling us about their latest 'girl'. See, these people are swingers. Real, true life swingers. And no, they weren't in their 50's like HBO would like you to believe. Oh, and the guy lives above a gun shop. God, I love south jersey. I have not hung out with my online friend since then.

I recently started a 2nd job at a retail store that imports junk from poverty stricken countries and sells it to suburban housewife's with a 400% mark up. I really like working there. It's a stress free job and pays poorly. It gets my ass away from the computer. It inspires me to decorate my own house with $40 pillows that a worker in China earned $1 (if that) to make. I am trying to make friends at this job. There are two girls I see as potential friends. One is in her 30's and works for the big ol University in Philly. She's sarcastic and funny. The other is a younger girl who is going to school to become a fashion designer. She's vegan and kinda quiet. We tentatively made plans to eat vegan Dim Sum in Chinatown soon. I was elated after the conversation with her consisting of how nasty soymilk is and how yummy tofu hoagies are.
I feel like a damn stalker. I just need some companionship for christsake. I mean, I love the husband but I need someone to do girlie things with. Like drink whiskey and try on clothes at Daffy's. Someone to sing Joan Jett with me in the car. Someone who understands the fabulousness of the movie "Big Business". Someone to quote John Waters with (Tea Bag him, Larry!).
It sounds like what I need is a Fairy Gay Mother. Most people in Philly are from the area and have known their friends for years. It's a small circle and it's hard to break into. I feel in order to make friends at this point, I either need to get a dog or a baby. I don't want either.

Hillbilly "Hag sans Fag" Harlot