We have an announcement to make.....Santa is not real and his elves do not make the toys. Consequently, half of the time the presents are pieced togther by chinese minors who do not have the time nor the money to celebrate just so you can have the luxury of passing around a bunch of crap you will never use. The other 50% of gifts are made by robots like Number 5 who are also victims of this holiday consumerism. We just found this out this year and are distressed by it so we took the 1st Annual Buy Handmade Pledge! We have been pimpin' Etsy out like we're makin' commission or at least getting some ass and Christmas/Chanukah are no different. Get all your gifts there or if you have some local stores that are all about the DIY revolution, hit those up. We know our readers are smarter, more righteous and better in bed than those other blog readers so get out your grandmother's credit card, chew some more of her vicodin and get out there and fight for Number 5!