Saturday, August 18, 2007

Second Life

Yeah, I worked at a Go Go Bar too.. on the internets.

Alright, I am just gonna come out and say it. Yes, I am a resident of Second Life. The online community that allows millions of people to connect through the machine that is cyberspace. But.. it's about sex, mostly. I'm not going to drag you through the journey that is how I found out about it and why I joined. I just did, okay?

I have an avatar named DitaVon Villota..yes, an homage to the fierce Dita Von Teese and I will admit, I coulda been more original. Whatever. So I quickly find out how fun it is to shop in SL. Anything you ever wanted could be found in SL. Satin leopard pedal pushers with red stilletoes..check. I have a seamed stocking collection that would make Mae West jealous. Cat eye glasses, corsets, fishnets, pencil skirts, peep toe pumps. Finally, I was the rockabilly chick I always wanted to be, complete with flaming red hair. How was I to pay for all of the clothes? I needed a job in SL. I am a tard and have no skills to speak of. What do virtual girls do when they have no skills? They strip. (just a generalization, I am sure all virtual strippers are working their way through virtual school)

Dita started working at a virtual burlesque club called Eden Revue. Mostly Dita would chat with people and say stupid flirty things and they tip her money. Dita swings around on a pole, takes her top off and the money flies in. Well, not really. SL has it's own currency, so $2000 is $10 in real life. I quickly learned that people are sick fucks. About 40% of people who have female avatars are men, including the escorts and strippers. Just imagine this guy jerkin it to a pixelated penis and vag while this hot 'girl' is talking dirty him. That hot girl is a 400 lb man who lives in his mothers basement. I won’t even mention the Tawny Kittean posters on his walls.

Believe it or not, Second Life is not just sex. I have made some good friends, Francophiles, to be exact. I had to explain to one that no, we Americans are not all the same just like all French are not the same. Americas reputation abroad is as tainted as ever, but that’s another blog for another time.

Stayed tuned for a more in depth look at my Second Life including sex, drugs, BDSM, skydiving and one scary ass amusement park.

-once a carnie, always a carnie

Hillbilly Harlot
You can get your own surreal life minus loser celebrities at

1 comment:

Tricknology said...

i'm slackin', i'm juust now reading this. second life is mad corporate too! you can walk around talib kweli's pad and listen to his music sponsored by his label.