Anybody Got a Hangover?

Mild Davis is talking a lot of smack about his google image acquiring skills and has already publicly bitch slapped us with a challenge. In the meantime, (before we punish him Google-y), he whipped up this set of images with captions that best represent the word of the week,
HANGOVER.



*This record might as well be called “The Soundtrack of My Life.” It’s kinda sad, really. But at least there are four naked ladies. AND, note the bottom of the sleeve where it says “High In-Fidelity.” Man, cats in the 60’s were some clever bastards.



*Well fuck me in the goat ass. This is AMAZING!!! If UPN and KROQ give it props, it’s gotta be legit. For serious. And, apparently, this shit only works if worn in full view of the public. If obscured by clothing, it is rendered useless. Does it seem like somebody lost a bet here, or is it just me?




*I think this is European and I’m not 100% sure what they are trying to say with this poster. I think it means, don’t exercise, bathe or drink coffee so you can be a smelly Frenchman. I’ll look into this further. Check back later for more updates. Until then, just avoid exercise, soap and coffee just to be on the safe side.



*What the fuck does this have to do with a hangover? I dunno either. But, it’s a good reminder that if you have back and shoulder hair, you should never be backlit if you’re not wearing a shirt. And, that’s a life lesson we can all use.



*Somebody is gonna be glad she remembered to take her birth control today!



*I told you so.



*ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Japan is awesome!




*Mild Davis – a self portrait




*Man ass. This seriously popped up three separate times in the search. I guess Google feels there is a link between tight man buns and my drinking problem? Assholes.



*My dick just fell off and ran away screaming! This monster could be sitting there, not puking and just drinking a Starbucks, and I think my pecker still would’ve headed for the hills in terror. AND, why the fuck is she outside on a park bench?!?! Who let this bitch out of her cage? **sigh**

Barbie Gets PC and Then We Ruin It

So, Mini Chavez and I are in the holiday spirit because Corporate America and Mema are already shoving it down our throats. Consequently, we were checking out the Barbie Collection online this morning and these are the ridiculous ones we found:

1) Barbie Collector Tooth Fairy - Caucasian

-Apparently, Barbie is now specified as Caucasian or African American (we didn't see any Pacific Islander). I thought the blonde hair and blue eyes would have set it off but whateva.

2) Barbie My Scene My Bling Bling Styling Head Madison Doll -That name is silly and out of date with all the "blings". They should just called it "Lil Kim in her Prime"

3. Teresa® Doll and Mika™ Cat

This Barbie actually scoops up imaginary shit and piss after her sorry ass cat has hooked up the "litter box". Who the hell wants their Barbie to do laborious things involving fecal matter? Does this Barbie also come with a brillo pad to scrub out Ken's skidmarks from his fleshy tighties?!



4) Barbie 80's Cher Bob Mackie Doll
-This Cher doll was on the 2nd page of the Barbie stuff....like this is on any kid's wish list. I told Mini Chavez that I really liked this one and she was like, "Mom, Halloween is over"...Ouch! and she's only 3. She also said "If I could turn back time, I'd throw some Jordache's on her no-ass havin' self!"...ok, that one is not true..

Finally, these weren't really on the Barbie site but they are still on our list for Santa...


xoxoxo,
Lady Chavez