You don't like Fun?

Ok, so the Kid Sister/Kanye West "Pro Nails" video dropped. Since we are huge fans, we checked out what the online community thought on all our favorite blogs that posted it and You Tube. Wow, lots of haters! We can't even believe people would act like this song and Kid Sister are not the shit. The only conclusion we can come up with is that they don't like fun. They are the dudes in the mosh pit at a show that get mad when someone elbows them in the tooth and they start fighting for real. They are the chicks that bump into the cutest girl at the club and try to spill Seabreeze all on the vintage pumps. Well, fuck you fun-haters because we're reppin' Chi-town even though we've never been there because Kid Sister is that new new fun shit.

And...people were saying she's so ghetto, are you from Nebraska or sumthin? Kid Sis ain't ghetto, trust. I saw a lady in the 7-Eleven with 2 Lee Press-ons left on each hand and the toes were just about matchin'.

Check out our interview with Kid Sister from August

And don't forget to peep the new video

"Dance to the Music" for Ohword.com

Sitting at the neon-lit runway, I hand the blond a $5 bill and tell her, “But this time, I want you to dance to the music”. Years, later, I’d be working at a similar strip club bartending and watching the girls do the same moves to every single song nightly, assuredly not even adjusting for change in tempo. Eyes glazed over and truly half-steppin’, the dancers would coast through the same routine they just did 3 and a half minutes ago. I say to a waitress, “Didn’t she just do all that there to Barry Manilow and here we are on 2 Live Crew and it’s all the same shit?” We laugh awkwardly, knowing that this only makes it worse that we work in this dump.

Each girl of course had their own staple signature move which I could always expect for them to come back to at least once each song like tagging home base. Xtacy would pop that pussy like this and Kaos would bounce that booty like that. Jade would hang upside down on the pole causing a hush over the crowd similar to the tight rope at a circus. Applause would break out after she dismounted without completely fracturing her collarbone. I, admittedly, was also impressed by this and the way Lacy would make her tits flex and shake independently of one another as only silicone bags can do. I would go home at night and try this in the mirror but would see only my eyebrows fluttering in the reflection one at a time. It became clear that actual dancing ability was not a prerequisite for the job nor did it have any bearing on how much revenue you will bring in. I was more than disappointed to also conclude that strip club-goers have demanded nothing more than a tight ass and a pulse all these years. (Read More)

Donny Goines: No Studio Thug

Harlem-based emcee, Donny Goines speaks on the streets like one can only if they've really lived it. Truly on his grind, Donny understands the importance of staying focused and getting shit done. His songs inspire the greatness he will soon achieve and he's real hush hush about his groupies.

L and F: Your music is real, down-to-earth and positive. What do you feel is most important for your listeners to take away?

DG: The truth. Although I talk about a lot of subjects that people may or may not be able to relate to I want them to know that I'm giving them apart of my life and story. Even though music is entertainment for the most part I try to give people real stories they can relate to because not everyone drives a Bentley, has a Mansion and a bunch of jewelry.

L and F: Tell us about The Excerpt.

DG: The Excerpt is a small part of a much larger story. I
wanted to give the people an idea of some things you can expect from me in the future so thats where the initial idea came from. I decided to make it concept album which focuss on one part of the story which is "The Artist", so every song on this project has some sort of hip hop influenced theme to it. Its also a progressive album that has a beginning, middle and ending (which is open ended). Its the first part of a trilogy.

L and F: You have a weekly blog on ballerstatus.com. Reading it, it is evident that you are a smart dude and having just started in 2006, you are already the authority on how to not fuck up in the music business. What kind of feedback have you received?

DG: Well I wouldn't go THAT far haha but I know a little bit. Overall the feedback has been positive. I wanted to do something for others out there who were just like me (coming up without guidance). Instead of having a self absorbed blog that focused all on me I felt that passing along knowledge to others served a better purpose and the people seem very receptive and appreciative.

L and F: Ohword has your back all day and they are very picky when it comes to their hip hop. Tell us about the Stand Up! show coming up on Dec 6th and what one of your shows is typically like.

DG: Well that show is going to be dope. I have a 20 minute set and will be performing along side other talented artists such as Cause, Hired Gun, NY Oil and a Special guest. I am really looking forward to it. What you can expect from me at a show? I give it my all. I just did a show last week and there were about 7 people in the room. I performed like it was 7000. Its all about giving your all.

L and F: What is the groupie situation like? We want some stories.

DG: Hahaha...... Thats the first time someone asked me something like that. As crazy as this might sound I really don't "indulge" so to speak with the groupies. I have a lot of women on my ass to be truthful but I am just one of those type of people that really immerse myself into things so I really don't have time for that. Maybe when I'm sitting on a couple mil and I can relax a bit Ill have something for you haha.


L and F: When you get super big, will you become a media whore, driving around drunk and showing your privates like some celebrities we know?

DG: I doubt it. Kind of goes along with what I said before. I dont drink or do drugs (did enough of that coming up), had my share of DWI's, women, parties, blah, blah, blah WAY before rap. Ive partied enough for two lifetimes honestly and right now my only goal is greatness. Others can pursue those things.

Get the Donny Goines Experience here and there are some downloadable joints but definitely click that link to buy the full album

Bah Humbug Bitch

I am not a total scrooge when it comes to Babylon's favorite festival of consumption but the one phrase that makes me want to start clawing at corneas is, "So, are you ready for the holidays?" Its kinda the same thing as saying, "Hey, how's it going?" as a formality when you don't care or even wait for the answer. Just because you are stuck in the elevator with me or I am signing for a Fed Ex package, does not mean you have to blurt out "So, are you ready for Christmas?" in the absense of meaningful conversation because it's December. As mad as it makes me, I just smile and say"No" ending it with the obligatory chuckle. The stranger will also laugh half-heartedly and we will go our separate ways to do it all over again in 5 minutes. The whole time I'm thinking of a way I could have not punked out but said something profound to break this fake ass cycle. I don't want to totally ruin someone's Christmas which is why I guess I play along. When I tell people about my annoyance with "So, are you ready for Christmas?", they act like I'm a heartless bitch and are totally offended, like I just a told a "your mom" sex joke. So not only is the phrase an intergral part of the Christmas experience but it is also fucking sacred. I can't win.

-LC

Betty Davis: Self-Proclaimed Nasty Gal

I picked up a copy of Oxford American's music issue on the back of a friend's toilet and was immediately taken by the black and white cover featuring Thelonius Monk in what looks like a barn turned stake-out. Someone in the background points an automatic weapon at the front door while hand grenades and more guns lay on the table beside Monk as he looks like he's stayed up all night drinking the dark liquid next to him and blessing the dusty keys of a debris-covered piano. I decide its worth a read and the pages immediately open to a beautiful womanwho's wild eyes make me postpone Thelonious and his article. In between spots on Karen Dalton, Eldridge Holmes and even David Banner, Betty Davis demands attention with her massive afro, sexy red lips and wildly confident stare. I haven't even heard her music yet but I want to crawl into her kimono and soak up some cool.

I throw in the cd that comes with the publication and my mind is immediately flooded with, "This is way before its time" and "Why haven't I heard this yet?". I thought Betty Davis was some red headed, white chick in the movies my grandmother used to make me watch. I didn't know about this Betty Davis, the second wife and muse of Miles Davis, good friend and collaborator to Jimi Hendrix and an incredibly innovative artist in her own right. I'm sure my mother purposely kept this from me along with all other amazing and naughty things that emerged in the early 70's that she was undoubtedly into. The song, titled "Anti Love Song" is very primal and Betty is singing but its very cat-like and guttural. I can picture her writhing in the agony of lust vs. love vs. insanity and consumed with her own woman power.

No I don't want to love you / 'Cause I know how you are / Sure you say you're right on and you're righteous / But with me I know you'd be right off / Cause you know I could posess your body / You know I could make you crawl / And just as hard as I'd fall for you, boy / You know
you'd fall for me harder / That's why I don't want to love you.

This individual is obviously against her best interest and the chemistry between them is intense and unavoidable but there is too much water under the bridge for Betty, it appears. It isn't a new concept and I wouldn't say the lyrics are even profound (definitely for the time they were) but it is the way she is unapologetic about being a sexual, instinctual creature that makes her music immediately authentic. I would liken her to Nina Simone in this way. Betty's music
came out in the 70's with only a cult success and was re-released in May 2007 to now be critically acclaimed. Check out her Myspace music page to hear more songs from the self-entitled album.

Craft of the Week: Just Call Me Jugs

So, most people who know me, know that Carlo Rossi and I have a thing going on. Although he has quite a girthy midsection with only an awkward, puny handle in which to manipulate his 13% goodness, he's a cheap date and he makes my life worth living. So when I saw Carlo popping up in my craft and hip hop magazines, I was appalled to see him pimping himself out like that with little regard for my feelings. Now, everyone thinks its cool to be Klassy like me and my Rossi-in-crime, Hillbilly Harlot. Since I love my readers, I will condone this orgy of Paisano and hook you up with some practical uses for my jugs.


* Lightweight Lamp (1.5 jugs)

*Lady Chavez Worthy Couch and Chandelier (33 jugs each)

Check out the tutorials on these beautiful jug creations

And if you think you are more Carlo Rossi hardcore than me, check out this pic of Ma Dukes on the Rossi while she was pregnant with me. I got started earlier, trust.

Love,

Lady Chavez

Uncle Imani Goes Solo

If you don't know who the Pharcyde is, then you're either young as hell and wack or really old and think it's a comic strip. If you're the other 60% of the population, you know how influential The Pharcyde has been to hip hop and it's been a minute since they've blessed us with an album. But not only is The Pharcyde coming out with a new album but Uncle Imani has his solo venture coming out first. Straight and to the point, Imani tells us what the big difference is.

L and F: You've got a solo album coming out momentarily. What can we expect?

Imani: From my solo album, one can expect to hear Uncle Imani's side of the future of the Pharcyde...hard drums, heavy bass, tight grooves, and a peek into my incyde soul...

L and F: How's it different being on the solo side?

Imani: The difference from solo/group is that its all me, u gotta dog a little deeper. There's not much extra energy to bounce off of...so one must really focus- be confident- and have a plan and execute.

L and F: What does The Pharcyde have lined up for their fans in the near and distant future?

Imani: Well, in the not so distant future, my album "B L Q S T R D S T" will be released. I'll support/tour the record while finishing recording "Eclectic Compassion" w/ Brown..the next Pharcyde Album

L and F: What do you think of the state of hip hop today? Which artists do you have in your ipod?

Imani: I don't think of the state of hip hop much cuz there's so many other things that take up my concerns...I have 2 Ipods and a hard drive with anything that sounds good ( AZ to X-Clan)

The Question We Always Ask:

L and F: When you get super big, will you become a media whore, driving around all drunk and showing your privates like some celebrities we know?

Imani: Been there, done that! U don't have to be super big to do dumb shit. When you're big, all your moves are scrutinized.

The Album Drops Jan. 1, 2008 so support Imani and cop it.


Also, Check out Uncle Imani on Myspace